May 2nd, 2023
Dear Diary,
Bad news. Fr. Tommy has more than a sprained ankle. The maley-something bone, the lump on the side of the ankle is broken. No way he can do anything for a few weeks. Vijay has to get back to studies (he was here cause his sister got confirmed so he drove us). Tommy’s replacement for a while is going to have to be Fr. Gilbert who has been with Msgr Sam over in Wickett at St. Christine the Astonishing. Weird name for a church. Ever since we assigned Gilbert after his ordination a couple years back, Sam started begging me to let him be alone. Anyway, G showed up today wearing a short-sleeved clerical shirt and one of those collars that go all the way around. I swear his teeth are as white as his collar and he smiles ALOT. He’s even got dimples! All the ladies in the chancery are being really nice to him. They find reasons to wander past the outer office. Super annoying! More annoying – alarming – is Chester around G! When G came in that first time Chester started limping over toward him. Just when started to say, “Careful, he might bite!” Chester let out a weak little woof, rolled over gazing up at G for him to scratch his tummy. And G was all, “Oh, hi Chester! Hey, puppy! Good boy!” G took Chester out for a walk, and damn! if Chester didn’t just slouch meekly alongside him. What the what? Something’s really wrong here. Maybe G is in league with the devil, cause that’s not normal.
From the editor: More on Chester, HERE and HERE.
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(Smiling) I used to see cartoons like that in my parents’ New Yorker magazines. The editor’s not hoarding old New Yorkers, is he?
What is it with Novus Ordo Priests and these little dogs? Is it the living alone because a lack of vocations? Every Tradional Priest I know is so busy, he doesn’t have time to take care of a dog. We have a Parish that does Both Traditional and N O. These 2 Priest have a Collabroative to take care of and they are going morning to night and 7 days a week. No Chesters for them.
[Pish. I know a number of good priests who say only the TLM who have a dog. You are barking up the wrong altar.]
I think that if priests are to have dogs, there should be a prescribed list of breeds they are allowed to have (a Catholic version of the North Korean hairstyles law) – German Shepherds allowed, anything that could fit into a handbag or described as a rat on a leash not allowed.
WOOF WOOF…OOPS.
Thank you so much for “the Private Diary of” updates. Somehow, my day goes better when I start my morning knowing what goes on with the good bishop, Chester, and Fr Tommy. I hope Fr T’s ankle heals soon. I’m sure he’ll be relieved, ( cross that out) I mean sad, not to be able to walk Chester for a while.
A friend of mine published a paper in Australia about owning dogs as helpful for both mental and physical health, using data from Germany as well as Australia. Having a dog at least gets the dog owner out for a walk each day (unlike a cat owner).
After all we have been through with clergy issues over the past 20 years, priests having pets is the very least issue we should worry about, or maybe even encourage. Bishops and other spiritual thunder thinkers like to run seminars about the emotional health of priests, bringing in all sorts of shrinks and gurus. Maybe having pets and taking up golf are simple solutions.
In my 20’s I knew someone whose stage name was “Christina the Astonishing.” I wish I could their music was that good, but…