From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-05-17 – Upcoming ordination

May 17th, 2023

Dear Diary,

It’s that time of year!  I have an ordination coming up.   It’s one of my favorite things to do as a bishop. Everyone’s happy at an ordination. Except for that period a few years ago when the Sisters of Peace tried disrupting things because they couldn’t be ordained.  Maybe 20 of them left. Too old to protest now.  Still, when I visit them those gals still put on a nice spread with their best china.

I’m ordaining Luis who’s mexican, if I recall, or maybe hispanic.  Or is it chicano?  That one sounds familiar.  I can never keep these technical terms straight.  I’d check with Fr. Tommy.  He’s got it all locked down.  BUT HE’S GONE RIGHT NOW.   Couldn’t he have done those exercises here?   Someone around the chancery has to know. I don’t want to be accused of being racist.  Anyway, one of those hispanics.  That means a lot of upbeat guitar music. Maybe a trumpet?  I’ll have to tell the rector we’ll use those colorful overlay stoles that Guatamalen bishop brought when he preached for the missions. All those people use them down there.  They’ll make Luis and his family feel at home.

Most importantly, Luis’ abluetitas… whatever – grandmothers are both preparing the food for after.  I can see it now. Tacos, burritos, empanadas, quesaritas, chalupas, chupacabras – the whole lot of it! What better way to celebrate!  We won’t need a burger run that night!

I’m working on my homily.  Thanks to Google translate, I’ve got some great Spanish lines worked into it. I’m sure it will be a smash. I love the sign of peace at these mexican Masses – so much hugging and happiness!

UPDATE: I think I also get to wear flowers around my neck like we did that one time.  NOTE: stock up on allegra beforehand.

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. palestrinadei says:

    Heaven forbid a chupacabra show up on the dinner table! That would mean at least one of the abuelitas (with blue… hair?) might be a bruja. Kind of like that enemy queen that was staring +McB down on that chessboard yesterday (if light squares are Libville and dark squares are Black Duck). It’s also probably best not to trust Google to translate into a language with which one is not familiar for public speaking purposes, especially if one is trying not to be accused of being racist. Finally, it’s interesting that no one at the chancery has attempted (yet) to introduce +McB to a non-gendered substitute for “Latino”. The common monstrosity ends in ‘x’; a better, if still not fully linguistically coherent, attempt ends in ‘e’. Thanks, as always, for the laughs during these trying times!

  2. TheCavalierHatherly says:

    “That means a lot of upbeat guitar music. Maybe a trumpet?”

    I agree. I might suggest this for his Excellency:

    Well, close enough.

  3. The Vicar says:

    Google Translate?

    Tell MacB Bing AI will write the whole homily in Spanish!

  4. BW says:

    Wait, the Diocese of Libville has an ordination? Their Catholic life is booming and must be SO SUCCESSFUL! We must do the same as Bishop McButter.

    Sigh. Where did all the Catholics go?

  5. Saint110676 says:

    Why is there no liturgical dance inserted into the Liturgy of Ordination (as has happened at a few I have been at)? Yes, +Atticus better get the correct country name. Please do not confuse Cubans with Mexicans, or with Argentines. But glad to know +Atticus likes Latinx food.

  6. cathgrl says:

    Watch. Luis’ family is from Argentina. I’ve never known an Argentine to like tacos.

  7. jaykay says:

    Cavalier H:

    “I agree. I might suggest this for his Excellency:

    Indeed! Or perhaps the Bruckner “Ecce Sacerdos Magnus”?

    Well, ok, three trombones but, hey, let’s not be discriminatory here…

  8. tzabiega says:

    The bishop may be surprised when the Mexican parishioners turn out more traditional than Anglos. At our local FSSP parish more than half the people at Mass are Mexicans. At a Novus Ordo Mass in Spanish that I often attend with my family all the people go up to receive Communion kneeling at the altar rail. The pastor used to have a priest stand at a line to give Communion, but since 99% of the people still kneeled at the altar rail, he doesn’t even bother anymore and just goes up to the altar rail. After Covid, the Latinos now just bow or hand wave at the sign of peace. The hugging is now only among the closest family members, and even that is not common.

Think, proof read, preview BEFORE posting!