Everyone knows that The Onion is one of the best and mostly highly respected news sources available. You might not recall this story from back in 2016.
It seems that the Amazon Synod has been on the minds of many in the Vatican for a few years.
Pope Francis Hosts Feathered Serpent God As Part Of Deity Exchange Program
VATICAN CITY—In an effort to strengthen their relationship and foster interfaith dialogue, Pope Francis reportedly [It’s just a rumor?] welcomed the winged Mayan snake god Kukulkan to the Vatican this week as part of a month-long deity exchange program. “We are excited to have the War Serpent staying here with us for the next four weeks, during which time he’ll be exposed to the rituals and customs of the Catholic Church, so that when he returns home he can share the experience with his adherents in Chichén Itzá and the surrounding Yucután communities,” said Vatican spokesperson Greg Burke, noting that the pontiff had taken Kukulkan out for pizza on the first night of the exchange before showing him around some of Rome’s most famous landmarks. “Once Kukulkan gets settled in, the pope plans to let him answer some basic prayers on his own, as well as try performing a transubstantiation or two. And perhaps toward the end of his stay, if he’s feeling up to it, Kukulkan can treat us all to an authentic human sacrifice.” Vatican sources confirmed that as part of the exchange, God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, would be spending the next month with the Taoist thunder god Lei Gong in the cloud kingdom over Tibet.
Hmmm… they got it wrong, I think, even backwards. Aren’t we supposed to be the ones learning from Kukulkan? Or, these days, that whatsherface demonic totem Pachamama?
Well… it’s all human sacrifice, right? Kukulkan… Pachamama… it’s nothing to get your heart ripped out for and shown to you while still beating. Right?