Here is an old rant, slightly updated, about TV commercials before the deeply and stupidly commercialized “Valentine’s Day”.
The stupidest jinned up commercial “holiday” of the year is just around the corner. And you men are required by commercial advertisers to be as stupid as the advertisers think you should think women are. And don’t forget guilty if you don’t buy Teddy Bears or diamonds.
Do you recall my tirade against “Vermont Teddy Bears”?
Now there are leopard skin garments. I am not making this up.
These commercials really make me see red and think black thoughts.
I quote from my past rant:
These moronic commercials portray women as total idiots.
They deepen the distortion of a feast day of the Church!
I mean… how stupid do they think women are?
I’m just askin’
“She’ll think you’ve planned it for weeks!” Smarmy ********
Yah… and she hasn’t seen the commercial… maybe while sitting next to you on the couch.
This year they are playing again on the “give her this and you’ll get laid because she doesn’t have a brain in her head” message, which has usually been the message in previous years.
Year by year it’s the “women are really stupid” angle but it’s mainly about her enjoying time being warm and, apparently, mostly alone…. rolling around. I guess they are alone because they caught on to how stupid the men who bought this stuff are for having bought it because they thought women were stupid.
If any of you readers buy this stuff, you need psychological help. Then you will perhaps need a new membership to a Catholic singles service.
Here’s Father Z’s best advise.
Give your woman chapel veils . If she refuses to wear them at church, lock her in the back of the cave.
Err… um… see what happens? I became stupider just writing about this stuff!
I also once suggesting having a Giant Hissing Cockroach named after your gal. After all, “Nothing says ‘forever’ like a cockroach.”
The chapel veil might be a better idea. Especially if you tell her how beautiful she is when she wears it.
And there are nuns who sell soap.
Look at it as anti-commercial Teddy Bear.
Remember in Star Trek how there’s anti-matter? What happens when they meet? FFFKCHPLOOOY! Get one of those and she’ll know immediately that you don’t think she is stupid or a total idiot when it comes to these commercial holidays. And a nice note along the lines of:
“I am really mad about catholic politicians causing scandal. Fr. Z says this thing is great. So, because I’m sure you know that I don’t think you’re stupid, here’s a mug with Latin on it. But… if your feeling romantic… I’m just sayin’ ….”
What gal could resist that?
Of course I expect to see a spike in coffee and mug sales because of this affirmation because you can’t be manipulated.