From a reader…
Our parish priest does not care for girl servers but allows it. Today we went to daily Mass and a new girl was serving (which was arranged by one of the moms, I don’t believe Father knew about it), while 8 boys sat in the pew, 3 of them mine, who all love to serve. I would like to say something to Father and the mom who arranged it. She has 6 boys who all serve. What is the best way to go about this? I read your article and thought it was very good!
The best way to say something to Father would be to go to him, or call him up, and ask to speak to him.
As for speaking to the other mother, I’m not quite sure how to go about that. Perhaps some mothers out there will have some advice on how to speak to a mother. I’m at a loss about how to speak as a mother to another mother. I would simply move slowly toward the door without making any sudden movements.
Seriously, a conversation should be undertaken.
If we approach each other with respect, with calm, measured voices, to express our opinions not in an apodictic way, you might get your point through. Say a prayer to the Holy Spirit beforehand, and your respective Guardian Angels, asking for guidance and direction to say what needs to be said without vitriol or screed in our voice.
Keep in mind that Father, despite his preferences, might be fighting other serious battles with the “powers that be”. He may have to compromise on the issue of altar girls because of serious pressure even from the bishop. He may have a long-term plan for all male servers and he craftily must implement it over time. In the end, the law gives him the authority to decide the matter.
But you can, and should, make your view known respectfully.
The moderation queue is ON. I may let some comments pile up so that people can speak their piece without being jumped on by others.