The Leadership Conference of Women Religious annual assembly will take place later in the summer. I will, of course, apply again for credentials to attend. But I am really hoping to be invited as a speaker.
To that end, I had a look at something a reader sent me. It is a kind of LCWR Keynote Speech Generator. Using this, I could have a talk ready for them in no time!
Just click on the box and use F9 to generate more deep thought to share. Post particularly good ones, below and speed up my research.
Gazing upon the majestic bosom of prophetic “church”, we are sent into this world to deepen our understanding of unfolding shared decision-making… in our age of becoming.
***
Wind of the North, guide us!
Wind of the East, enlighten us!
Wind of the West, illuminate us!
I am full of the the hot wind of the South!
Marcelo.
My iPad lacked an f9 key. But if these Nuns intend to be priests I accept they will have the very best programmable homily generators.
Your speech will be spiffing, Father! You’ll have them on fire, no doubt.
“Entering into the serene field of intentional SPirit-love, we are sent into this world to be re-formed and re-turned and re-directed to collegial inter-mutuality… in communion with spirit and earth.”
“We embrace the orgastic exercise of brim-filled and erupting ritual: dreaming globally, honouring all creation, and renewing the outlived growth of our garden-dwelling.”
“We are called by our fresh life-calling of sultry and sensuous reform: collaborating intentionally, risking for justice, and fiercly opposing intolerance at all times and in all forms.”
“….and impelled by awakening creation-dance, we are sent forth to nourish holistic experiences as we move closer to the edge.”
Had to turn to the Luther Insult Generator as an antidote:
“What bilgewater of heresies has ever been spoken so heretically as what you have said?”
and
“I am tired of the pestilent voice of your sirens.”
Someone must have a direct link to the minds of the LCWR writers. Every time I read some of their stuff, I want to come out with a, “Say what?!”
From the examples given, these are my favorites:
“We commit to the prophetic profession of succulent and dripping observance: challenging the systems of oppression, speaking truth to power, and wondering and wandering in the garden of our collective dreams.”
“Praying in these emergent times, and laying claim to calming consciousnesses, we call ourselves to preach emerging experiences as we move closer to the edge.”
“We claim the rapturous labor of brim-filled and rupturing reform: challenging the systems of oppression, collaborating intentionally, and walking with confidence into the final stillness.”
Notice a progression here to the “final stillness”. Amen.
“Called to be companions of the sacred quest of reverent rebirth, we join our voices to the pervasive sighs of our once-tranquil world-star.”
“Proclaiming ourselves trailblazers on the infinite soul-journey of inclusive growth, we resolve to atone for the clamorous plaints of our suffering earth-mother”
“As outlanders on the pregnant watercourse of rabid ontogenesis, we call one another to engender primordial theologies in this time of holy longing.”
Is any of that even English? This is a joke,right? Yes, it must be.
Inhabiting the timeless groin of provocative theologies, we, as sentinels of cosmic divinity, assist our members both personally and communally to enkindle paradoxical “church” … in our age of becoming.
Called to be transients on the otherworldly trapeze of holy baptism, we are attuned to the loud plaints of our afflicted earth-partner.
We cling to the sublime servicing of succulent and heaving paradox: risking for justice, honoring all creation, and fiercely opposing intolerance at all times and in all forms.
Painful and uncharitable though it seem, one is impelled to assume that such a Hell’s Thesaurus (automated or not) is exactly how the LCWR originates its messaging.
A good intention for today’s Mass, and one appropriate for Good Shepherd Sunday, would be a petition for faithful vocations.
I was taken aback to read (as I thought): “Peeing into the abundant pool of collegial Spirit-fire…” until I realised that the first word was actually ‘peering’. However, I do slightly prefer my (mis)reading.
This is all very creepy. Lord have mercy!
In the company of transients on the consecrated space-coaster of heart-felt transfigurement, we proclaim our mission to advocate for global faith as we dream new dreams and vision new visions.
Committed to on-going dialogue, and centered on inclusive paradox, we witness our intention to preach global wisdom deep within the threshold of our existence.
In solidarity with all trailblazers on the sacred path of reverent metamorphosis, we listen to and hear the desperate cries of our violated earth-house.
It is the Feast of St Monica today in the Traditional Calendar of Saints. Perhaps, Father, you could take a leaf out of her book and pray, pray, pray for these Sisters/Nuns who have lost their way instead of making fun of them. God have mercy on you.
If you want to generate the entire talk, there’s another gem I found here . Excuse the coarse language on the site, but it seems to accurately describe the content of such talks.
Don’t know how you all are getting this to work. Doesn’t do a think when I use my F9 key as instructed. Perhaps it’s for the best, as I can barely stand to read what everyone else has generated (rings entirely too true as LCWR-speak).
Should have known better than to read while eating. The “timeless groin” made me lose a mouthful.
United as revolutionaries on the ethereal passage of ravishing renewal, we listen to and hear the plangorous spasms of our human-scarred nature dwelling.
We claim the meaningful exercise of dripping and heaving ambiguity: partnering in mission, honoring all creation and fiercly [sic] opposing intolerance at all times and in all forms.
“Inhabiting the bountiful meadow of radical “church”, we gather to promote inclusive inter-mutuality…in our age of past’s future promise.”
“We cling to the fresh service of sensuous and dripping praxis; claiming communal authority, challenging the systems of oppression, and beating the ancient rhythm of mystery-song on the celestial tamborine.”
Haha…this is fantastic! Though it brings to mind the awful prayers of the faithful that I heard during college.
Those of you on iPad or otherwise unable to use F9: I think refreshing the page accomplishes the same thing.
After hearing today’s Gospel reading and hearing how the Disciples hearts were burning within them when Jesus Opened the Scripture to them….I read:
“United as exiles on the boundless Vision-quest of fervent ontogenesis (spell check says this should say Gerontologist BTW), we are attuned to the Cacophonous tears of our human-scarred earth-spirit. ”
Doesn’t do a thing for me.
I’m wondering if these are being translated into English from another language via one of the online translation websites. It’s the type of bilge one sees when one translates, say, “Grüß Gott, Meine Name ist Andreas” (God’s greetings..my name is Andy) and out comes something like, “God’s title greetings Andreas my own”..or something even worse.
Lisieux, LOL!
Father Z, I hope they do invite you as a speaker. They claim not to know ahead of time what speakers are going to say, but I bet you would be the first to be repudiated ex post facto!
“Dancing with the bountiful well-spring of lively cosmo-genesis, we proclaim our mission to awaken holistic ‘ethic’ … in our time of want and plenty.”
Andreas, Isn’t it mein Name (Name being masculine, not feminine)?
After reading these comments, I’m afraid to try this thing. Can someone just give them a message for me: Nanu Nanu.
Thank you all, happiest I felt all day. Lisieux…lol indeed! Oh my goodness, how can anyone tolerate such blather, for real I mean.
oh hey it worked for me! Here’s my contribution..
Emboldened to be yeast (?) and catalyzed by unabashed experiences, we are compelled in conscience to comprehend indwelling experiences under this mantle of creation.
Does it require boldness to be yeast?
Dancing with the dream-filled groin of intentional experiences, we empower ourselves to affirm unabashed cosmo-genesis…in our time of want and plenty.
That’s a dandy, but I can’t say anything about it without risking decorum.
“Called to be companions on the astral bypass of heart-felt renewal, we witness our intention to be co-creators of transformational mystery-song in word and deed.”
We embrace the pregnant pursuit of juicy and pulsating paradox: challenging material privilege, reverencing earth, and remembering within us the ancient clay.
(I understand the individual words, but collectively, I have no idea what this means!)
Phrases like “speaking truth to power” make me realize how much the LCWR and their ilk are stuck in the Seventies – they are the ones in power now in the (incredibly shrinking) Church of Nice (to steal a phrase from Michael Voris) and the ones now speaking truth to power are those advocating for a return to authentic Catholic worship and the teaching of authentic Catholic doctrine, still a voice crying in the wilderness. But they will be the ones who will survive to pick up the pieces when the Church of Nice comes crashing down.
Fairly certain I have encountered the following quotation before in my graduate studies in theology… “Choosing with intention to walk the path, and impelled by enlivened centeredness, we assist our members both personally and communally to preach vibrant centeredness, moving the church from laws to ideals, from definitions to mystery, and from coercion to conscience.” Has anyone seen my ordination tambourine…?
I usually like language contests, but just the examples upset my stomach. It reminded me of this excerpt from the preface to the Screwtape Letters:
“There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existance. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist of a magician with the same delight. The sort of script which is used in this book can be very easily obtained by anyone who has once learned the knack; but ill-disposed or excitable people who might make a bad use of it shall not learn it from me.”
“As yeast actively present in the dough rising around us, and informed by enlivened peace, we call ourselves to comprehend unfolding right relationships in this new phase of self and cosmos.”
Does F9 refresh the page now? I thought F5 did that, but I have never been able to keep track of most browser-related shortcuts.
BLB Oregon, in this case it seems someone has taught the knack to a computer — if they have, the implications are interesting.
Ok, so, I feel bad (just a little) posting a quote this long and not from the Spirituality Generator (it’s from G.K. Chesterton instead), but I think it’s appropriate commentary…
The Man Who Was Thursday