LCWR Spirituality Generator

The Leadership Conference of Women Religious annual assembly will take place later in the summer.  I will, of course, apply again for credentials to attend.   But I am really hoping to be invited as a speaker.

To that end, I had a look at something a reader sent me.  It is a kind of LCWR Keynote Speech Generator.   Using this, I could have a talk ready for them in no time!

Just click on the box and use F9 to generate more deep thought to share. Post particularly good ones, below and speed up my research.

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
This entry was posted in Liberals, Magisterium of Nuns, Women Religious and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. marpoliv says:

    Gazing upon the majestic bosom of prophetic “church”, we are sent into this world to deepen our understanding of unfolding shared decision-making… in our age of becoming.
    Wind of the North, guide us!
    Wind of the East, enlighten us!
    Wind of the West, illuminate us!
    I am full of the the hot wind of the South!


  2. Gratias says:

    My iPad lacked an f9 key. But if these Nuns intend to be priests I accept they will have the very best programmable homily generators.

  3. ClavesCoelorum says:

    Your speech will be spiffing, Father! You’ll have them on fire, no doubt.

    “Entering into the serene field of intentional SPirit-love, we are sent into this world to be re-formed and re-turned and re-directed to collegial inter-mutuality… in communion with spirit and earth.”

    “We embrace the orgastic exercise of brim-filled and erupting ritual: dreaming globally, honouring all creation, and renewing the outlived growth of our garden-dwelling.”

    “We are called by our fresh life-calling of sultry and sensuous reform: collaborating intentionally, risking for justice, and fiercly opposing intolerance at all times and in all forms.”

  4. Mariana2 says:

    “….and impelled by awakening creation-dance, we are sent forth to nourish holistic experiences as we move closer to the edge.”

    Had to turn to the Luther Insult Generator as an antidote:

    “What bilgewater of heresies has ever been spoken so heretically as what you have said?”


    “I am tired of the pestilent voice of your sirens.”

  5. A.D. says:

    Someone must have a direct link to the minds of the LCWR writers. Every time I read some of their stuff, I want to come out with a, “Say what?!”

    From the examples given, these are my favorites:
    “We commit to the prophetic profession of succulent and dripping observance: challenging the systems of oppression, speaking truth to power, and wondering and wandering in the garden of our collective dreams.”

    “Praying in these emergent times, and laying claim to calming consciousnesses, we call ourselves to preach emerging experiences as we move closer to the edge.”

    “We claim the rapturous labor of brim-filled and rupturing reform: challenging the systems of oppression, collaborating intentionally, and walking with confidence into the final stillness.”

    Notice a progression here to the “final stillness”. Amen.

  6. Martlet says:

    “Called to be companions of the sacred quest of reverent rebirth, we join our voices to the pervasive sighs of our once-tranquil world-star.”

    “Proclaiming ourselves trailblazers on the infinite soul-journey of inclusive growth, we resolve to atone for the clamorous plaints of our suffering earth-mother”

    “As outlanders on the pregnant watercourse of rabid ontogenesis, we call one another to engender primordial theologies in this time of holy longing.”

    Is any of that even English? This is a joke,right? Yes, it must be.

  7. (X)MCCLXIII says:

    Inhabiting the timeless groin of provocative theologies, we, as sentinels of cosmic divinity, assist our members both personally and communally to enkindle paradoxical “church” … in our age of becoming.

  8. (X)MCCLXIII says:

    Called to be transients on the otherworldly trapeze of holy baptism, we are attuned to the loud plaints of our afflicted earth-partner.

  9. (X)MCCLXIII says:

    We cling to the sublime servicing of succulent and heaving paradox: risking for justice, honoring all creation, and fiercely opposing intolerance at all times and in all forms.

  10. Mike says:

    Painful and uncharitable though it seem, one is impelled to assume that such a Hell’s Thesaurus (automated or not) is exactly how the LCWR originates its messaging.

    A good intention for today’s Mass, and one appropriate for Good Shepherd Sunday, would be a petition for faithful vocations.

  11. Lisieux says:

    I was taken aback to read (as I thought): “Peeing into the abundant pool of collegial Spirit-fire…” until I realised that the first word was actually ‘peering’. However, I do slightly prefer my (mis)reading.

  12. mimicaterina says:

    This is all very creepy. Lord have mercy!

  13. Cathy says:

    In the company of transients on the consecrated space-coaster of heart-felt transfigurement, we proclaim our mission to advocate for global faith as we dream new dreams and vision new visions.

    Committed to on-going dialogue, and centered on inclusive paradox, we witness our intention to preach global wisdom deep within the threshold of our existence.

    In solidarity with all trailblazers on the sacred path of reverent metamorphosis, we listen to and hear the desperate cries of our violated earth-house.

  14. StWinefride says:

    It is the Feast of St Monica today in the Traditional Calendar of Saints. Perhaps, Father, you could take a leaf out of her book and pray, pray, pray for these Sisters/Nuns who have lost their way instead of making fun of them. God have mercy on you.

  15. Ambrose_Phoenix says:

    If you want to generate the entire talk, there’s another gem I found here . Excuse the coarse language on the site, but it seems to accurately describe the content of such talks.

  16. anachy says:

    Don’t know how you all are getting this to work. Doesn’t do a think when I use my F9 key as instructed. Perhaps it’s for the best, as I can barely stand to read what everyone else has generated (rings entirely too true as LCWR-speak).

  17. xavier217 says:

    Should have known better than to read while eating. The “timeless groin” made me lose a mouthful.

  18. Luvadoxi says:

    United as revolutionaries on the ethereal passage of ravishing renewal, we listen to and hear the plangorous spasms of our human-scarred nature dwelling.

    We claim the meaningful exercise of dripping and heaving ambiguity: partnering in mission, honoring all creation and fiercly [sic] opposing intolerance at all times and in all forms.

  19. mamajen says:

    “Inhabiting the bountiful meadow of radical “church”, we gather to promote inclusive inter-mutuality…in our age of past’s future promise.”

    “We cling to the fresh service of sensuous and dripping praxis; claiming communal authority, challenging the systems of oppression, and beating the ancient rhythm of mystery-song on the celestial tamborine.”

    Haha…this is fantastic! Though it brings to mind the awful prayers of the faithful that I heard during college.

    Those of you on iPad or otherwise unable to use F9: I think refreshing the page accomplishes the same thing.

  20. Makemeaspark says:

    After hearing today’s Gospel reading and hearing how the Disciples hearts were burning within them when Jesus Opened the Scripture to them….I read:

    “United as exiles on the boundless Vision-quest of fervent ontogenesis (spell check says this should say Gerontologist BTW), we are attuned to the Cacophonous tears of our human-scarred earth-spirit. ”

    Doesn’t do a thing for me.

  21. Andreas says:

    I’m wondering if these are being translated into English from another language via one of the online translation websites. It’s the type of bilge one sees when one translates, say, “Grüß Gott, Meine Name ist Andreas” (God’s name is Andy) and out comes something like, “God’s title greetings Andreas my own”..or something even worse.

  22. lana says:

    Lisieux, LOL!

  23. Grateful to be Catholic says:

    Father Z, I hope they do invite you as a speaker. They claim not to know ahead of time what speakers are going to say, but I bet you would be the first to be repudiated ex post facto!

  24. OdeM says:

    “Dancing with the bountiful well-spring of lively cosmo-genesis, we proclaim our mission to awaken holistic ‘ethic’ … in our time of want and plenty.”

  25. Minnesotan from Florida says:

    Andreas, Isn’t it mein Name (Name being masculine, not feminine)?

  26. OrthodoxChick says:

    After reading these comments, I’m afraid to try this thing. Can someone just give them a message for me: Nanu Nanu.

  27. Kathleen10 says:

    Thank you all, happiest I felt all day. Lisieux…lol indeed! Oh my goodness, how can anyone tolerate such blather, for real I mean.

  28. Kathleen10 says:

    oh hey it worked for me! Here’s my contribution..

    Emboldened to be yeast (?) and catalyzed by unabashed experiences, we are compelled in conscience to comprehend indwelling experiences under this mantle of creation.

    Does it require boldness to be yeast?

  29. Kathleen10 says:

    Dancing with the dream-filled groin of intentional experiences, we empower ourselves to affirm unabashed cosmo-genesis…in our time of want and plenty.

    That’s a dandy, but I can’t say anything about it without risking decorum.

  30. elijah408 says:

    “Called to be companions on the astral bypass of heart-felt renewal, we witness our intention to be co-creators of transformational mystery-song in word and deed.”

  31. andreat says:

    We embrace the pregnant pursuit of juicy and pulsating paradox: challenging material privilege, reverencing earth, and remembering within us the ancient clay.

    (I understand the individual words, but collectively, I have no idea what this means!)

  32. JonPatrick says:

    Phrases like “speaking truth to power” make me realize how much the LCWR and their ilk are stuck in the Seventies – they are the ones in power now in the (incredibly shrinking) Church of Nice (to steal a phrase from Michael Voris) and the ones now speaking truth to power are those advocating for a return to authentic Catholic worship and the teaching of authentic Catholic doctrine, still a voice crying in the wilderness. But they will be the ones who will survive to pick up the pieces when the Church of Nice comes crashing down.

  33. ajf1984 says:

    Fairly certain I have encountered the following quotation before in my graduate studies in theology… “Choosing with intention to walk the path, and impelled by enlivened centeredness, we assist our members both personally and communally to preach vibrant centeredness, moving the church from laws to ideals, from definitions to mystery, and from coercion to conscience.” Has anyone seen my ordination tambourine…?

  34. BLB Oregon says:

    I usually like language contests, but just the examples upset my stomach. It reminded me of this excerpt from the preface to the Screwtape Letters:

    “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existance. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist of a magician with the same delight. The sort of script which is used in this book can be very easily obtained by anyone who has once learned the knack; but ill-disposed or excitable people who might make a bad use of it shall not learn it from me.”

  35. josephmorinello says:

    “As yeast actively present in the dough rising around us, and informed by enlivened peace, we call ourselves to comprehend unfolding right relationships in this new phase of self and cosmos.”

  36. The Cobbler says:

    Does F9 refresh the page now? I thought F5 did that, but I have never been able to keep track of most browser-related shortcuts.

    BLB Oregon, in this case it seems someone has taught the knack to a computer — if they have, the implications are interesting.

    Ok, so, I feel bad (just a little) posting a quote this long and not from the Spirituality Generator (it’s from G.K. Chesterton instead), but I think it’s appropriate commentary…

    “With pleasure, if you don’t mind hearing my story,” replied the eminent foreign philosopher. “I am by profession an actor, and my name is Wilks. When I was on the stage I mixed with all sorts of Bohemian and blackguard company. Sometimes I touched the edge of the turf, sometimes the riff-raff of the arts, and occasionally the political refugee. In some den of exiled dreamers I was introduced to the great German Nihilist philosopher, Professor de Worms. I did not gather much about him beyond his appearance, which was very disgusting, and which I studied carefully. I understood that he had proved that the destructive principle in the universe was God; hence he insisted on the need for a furious and incessant energy, rending all things in pieces. Energy, he said, was the All. He was lame, shortsighted, and partially paralytic. When I met him I was in a frivolous mood, and I disliked him so much that I resolved to imitate him. If I had been a draughtsman I would have drawn a caricature. I was only an actor, I could only act a caricature. I made myself up into what was meant for a wild exaggeration of the old Professor’s dirty old self. When I went into the room full of his supporters I expected to be received with a roar of laughter, or (if they were too far gone) with a roar of indignation at the insult. I cannot describe the surprise I felt when my entrance was received with a respectful silence, followed (when I had first opened my lips) with a murmur of admiration. The curse of the perfect artist had fallen upon me. I had been too subtle, I had been too true. They thought I really was the great Nihilist Professor. I was a healthy-minded young man at the time, and I confess that it was a blow. Before I could fully recover, however, two or three of these admirers ran up to me radiating indignation, and told me that a public insult had been put upon me in the next room. I inquired its nature. It seemed that an impertinent fellow had dressed himself up as a preposterous parody of myself. I had drunk more champagne than was good for me, and in a flash of folly I decided to see the situation through. Consequently it was to meet the glare of the company and my own lifted eyebrows and freezing eyes that the real Professor came into the room.

    “I need hardly say there was a collision. The pessimists all round me looked anxiously from one Professor to the other Professor to see which was really the more feeble. But I won. An old man in poor health, like my rival, could not be expected to be so impressively feeble as a young actor in the prime of life. You see, he really had paralysis, and working within this definite limitation, he couldn’t be so jolly paralytic as I was. Then he tried to blast my claims intellectually. I countered that by a very simple dodge. Whenever he said something that nobody but he could understand, I replied with something which I could not even understand myself. ‘I don’t fancy,’ he said, ‘that you could have worked out the principle that evolution is only negation, since there inheres in it the introduction of lacuna, which are an essential of differentiation.’ I replied quite scornfully, ‘You read all that up in Pinckwerts; the notion that involution functioned eugenically was exposed long ago by Glumpe.’ It is unnecessary for me to say that there never were such people as Pinckwerts and Glumpe. But the people all round (rather to my surprise) seemed to remember them quite well, and the Professor, finding that the learned and mysterious method left him rather at the mercy of an enemy slightly deficient in scruples, fell back upon a more popular form of wit. ‘I see,’ he sneered, ‘you prevail like the false pig in Aesop.’ ‘And you fail,’ I answered, smiling, ‘like the hedgehog in Montaigne.’ Need I say that there is no hedgehog in Montaigne? ‘Your claptrap comes off,’ he said; ‘so would your beard.’ I had no intelligent answer to this, which was quite true and rather witty. But I laughed heartily, answered, ‘Like the Pantheist’s boots,’ at random, and turned on my heel with all the honours of victory. The real Professor was thrown out, but not with violence, though one man tried very patiently to pull off his nose. He is now, I believe, received everywhere in Europe as a delightful impostor. His apparent earnestness and anger, you see, make him all the more entertaining.”

    The Man Who Was Thursday

Comments are closed.