Before it didn’t seem like it would be an issue but eldest daughter (9yo in 3rd grade at this school though most of the archdiocese does it in 2nd), is basically going to be forced to have communion in hand. At first, was told they would check, etc etc but came down that it won’t be optional.
I’m contemplating taking her to the FSSP instead. I believe it’s law that all Catholics have the option to receive, not the person
distributing, which seems to be backed up by the USCCB.
It doesn’t seem that the discipline of children should be any different. Even though a new experience, every Communion should be as reverently as possible.
You are within your rights to go to the FSSP chapel or church. Make sure you work things out with the pastor or rector there. Do this above board. Don’t sneak. It could be that, in the process, something might be worked out.
You are the primary educator and faith formation giver to your children. Your wishes should carry great weight in this decision. If you are not being respected, you can go elsewhere.
The Church’s law guarantees that Catholics may receive Communion on the tongue (Redemptionis Sacramentum 92). Communion in the hand is the exception that requires special permission, not the other way around. Permission is given in so widespread a way that some people think that it is the normal way.
Keep in mind that you live in the boundary of a parish. You should support your parish even as you support an FSSP chapel which you frequent. Your support can be proportional, of course. If you go to the local parish rarely, your support might be much less than that which you give to the FSSP church.
Make sure that you help your child understand how joyful it is to receive Communion, as well as awesome.