The two smallest nations on earth have squared off: the Vatican City State and the Sovereign Military Order of the Knights of Malta.   I understand that San Marino may be readying for its own move.

The often amusing Eye of the Tiber offers this:

Tensions have escalated between conservative and liberal Catholics today as Knights of Columbus members amassed on Malta’s border, which was recently annexed by the Vatican. [Oh the humanity!  To have these mighty forces in such close contact… this is going to get out of hand!]
Maltese U.N. Ambassador Marcallino Galea told EOTT this morning that the Knights of Columbus had amassed more than 40,000 knights on the border of Malta.
“These numbers may reflect some very bad intentions and this is the last thing we would like to happen,” Galea said. “Our hope is that the Vatican will come to its senses and that they will come to understand that they cannot continue order us around and to tell us where we can or cannot park in our own parishes.”
Pope Francis has pledged to take counter-measures against Malta, which he accused of sending saboteurs into the Vatican to carry out liturgical-terrorist acts in which priests say the Latin Mass in Rome. [Typical lib fear-mongering.]
Pro-Vatican separatists have been fighting near Malta’s border for months now, with hundreds of Maltese civilian casualties from shelling, mines, and tickling people to death with fluffy ostrich plumes from their stupid hats.
“Casualties are horrific, yes, but what is worse than death is that they are infiltrating our churches and nagging parishioners about becoming members of the Knights of Columbus. They are torturing innocent bystanders by continually reiterating how good their life insurance policy is. Please send help.”

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. Kathleen10 says:

    Haha, you mean the ONCE Sovereign Military Order, can’t say Sovereign once they are annexed by Pope Francis. I’m not sure this is true, but I read that now that this has happened, Italy could annex the Vatican State. If nations can go around annexing each other, where will it end.
    Is all this trouble just to plant a progressive in the vicinity of Cardinal Burke? Or is it the millions of Euros and the properties.

  2. jskelley says:

    I understand the article is satirical, but I can imagine that some people don’t have the reasoning skills necessary to make that deduction.

  3. Atra Dicenda, Rubra Agenda says:

    “Amassed on Malta’s borders.” That got me laughing out loud. They must have been mounted on rad trad sea horses and sporting tridents.

  4. I hear elsewhere that since the Knights of Columbus lack a navy the said 40,000 knights have since drowned. A spokesman for the Knights said that this was due to a ‘minor oversight’ on their part, geograpy not being their strong point. Replacements are being assembled with the proviso that they can swim (in armour). The sovereign nation of Malta has appealed to the EU to act as go between and point out to the Kinghts of Columbus that the Sovereign Military Order of the Knights of Malta is not the same as the nation of Malta and that by attacking the latter they are attacking the EU. The Sovereign Military Order of the Knights of Malta is allegedly considering appealing to Italy to annex the Vatican so it cannot annex the Knights. Italy is considering wether it is worth the trouble to annex them both.

  5. Venerator Sti Lot says:


    I was struck by Claire Chretien’s LifeSiteNews report that “Catholic University of America canon law professor Kurt Martens said this [“Appointing Papal Delegate”] is a ‘serious violation of international law'”, and copy of his tweet which also includes “amounts to de facto annexation. Time for UN to intervene” – and a copy of yet another of his tweets: “Is dangerous precedent. Nothing would prohibit POTUS realDonaldTrump to do the same and ask for the resignation of Pontifex”!

  6. cowboyengineer says:

    Can I be the first to scream QUAGMIRE?

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