November 12th, 2023
Dear Diary,
This morning Fr. Tommy asked me my thoughts about the mess with Strictland in Texas. I can’t say I know him. He doesn’t hang around the bar after the bp meetings with the group of us. Always seems pleasant. He got pretty unfriendly with the pope and the nuncio, so it’s wise to keep him at arms’ length anyway. It’s scary how quickly Rome acts when they want to. I heard there was an investigation this summer, but I figured that, if it followed form, it would be at least a year, maybe two before any action was taken. But no. The hammer came down fast. After that first rush of calls the night before, during the day it happened I talked to a few of the other guys and they’re troubled. Seems like it was only a few years ago that Francis instituted new policies for removing bishops, but I don’t think that process was even followed. Some of the guys that are even a little okay with traditional stuff are worried. If Strictlan can be removed so easily, what’s stopping it from happening to them? Or ME??? And what’s the noonch’s role in this? He’s a Cardinal now. I’ve been trying to avoid line of sight with him for all these meetings: outta sight and all. I should try and stay on his good side. Maybe get on his good side? A bottle of scotch to congratulate him? Dangerous. Too good of a bottle, it’ll look like bribery. Too cheap it’s an insult. These Italians. French? Whatever. Anyway, off to the meeting in the morning. I look forward to seeing the guys, some at least, but I think it’s going to be a pretty tense meeting. I hear Strictland is showing up but not coming to any of the sessions. He’s just going to stand around outside and pray. What do they get out of that? I suppose the crowd he’ll get will be big this time. I asked Tommy what he thought of the Strictlund thing but just as he was about to say something Chester charged in and started barking and running in a circle. That sort of put the kaybosh on that. It took us with Mrs. Kennedy several minutes to get Chester under control and out of the room. Fr. Gilbert gets on my nerves but it’s worth it for Chester. Oh yes… gotta make sure Fr. Gilbert is available for Chester’s vet appointment. The last time with Tommy didn’t go too well. I’m just glad the vet understood. They got the place all cleaned up.
Editor’s Note: These diary entries come in sporadically from our Source inside. Hence, they are not always chronological or even current. Also, for those of you who are new, Fatty McButterpants’ full name is Francis Atticus McButterpants. In naming him, his parents were inspired by their garden statue and the institution where his older brother was learning a trade. Fatty would later say it was the book by Harper Lee. Fatty hated the name Francis growing up, and still hates it, so he went by “F. Atticus McButterpants”. By the time he got into seminary, and much larger clothing, the script wrote itself.
Special mention for the Brazil Capybaras and Spanish Maniac Shrimps for the goofiest names.
Let me repeat…
A couple weeks ago in Rome I attended the presentation of Bp. Athanasius Schneider’s catechism entitled 
TheCavalierHatherly on Does it feel to you as if something is building to an explosive point? : “To be read in nasal tones, to the harmonica’s dulcet buzz: “Come gather round people, In communion with Rome, And…”
