Airlines are in it for the money, no matter how much they say it is all about us.
Since I have to leave NYC fairly soon – alas – and I am thinking about how pleasant it has become to fly, especially with Delta, I have a few suggestions – developed with the help of a friend – for how Delta can make even more money from their guests, whom they are so pleased to serve.
1. Since Delta announces on their flights that they are now “cash free”, give your appreciated guests the opportunity to dip their credit or debit cards for 15 whole minutes of overhead light or the use of the air jet. This has the added objective of increasing the passengers aerobic activity on longer flights.
2. Seat recline auctions. Bid against the person in front or behind you over who can recline the seat… and how far! Think of the excitement, the thrill of the live action! Will the person in front of you bid more and be able to recline his seat? With the person behind you prevent you from reclining yours? Only you can decide! Courtesy of Delta!
3. Inflight insurance against asphyxia! Delta is always concerned about the safety of all passengers. It is their foremost goal! However, you can be doubly sure that you will receive adequate oxygen, in the rare case that it is needed, by depositing a small, non-refundable fee. And remember, Delta is a cash-free airline!
We are sure we’ll come up with a few more. In the meantime, we apologize for the delay. Thank you for your cooperation. It has been our honor to serve you. Thank you for chosing WDTPRS! We look forward to your business in the future.