It has finally happened.
I have at long last – for my sins – been summoned on pain of censures to appear at an ecclesiastical tribunal.
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But…but…for coffee?
I suggest, Fr. Zedissime, Sant Eustacio, available at Amazon.
[Whew! You maybe haven’t been reading here very long. The Official Coffee here is, of course, Mystic Monk Coffee. However, I’ll play along. I know that coffee well, since I lived for years just up the street from the real thing. I’ll put a can on my wishlist and you can send it to me.]
No one expects the Dane County-ish Inquisition.
“Latte Sententiae” – very clever!!
Enjoy the trip, Father, but I hate to break it to you that as far as the censures it’s too late: there are folks out there for whom you are already considered infamous. :)
[?!? What is this you tell me? Say it ain’t so!]
Will they give you one lump or two? (I don’t know Latin, but I see “latte” and “cafe” in there…)
I don’t see Joan Chittester’s or Simon Campbell’s signature there, so it can’t be legitimate.
Father, I forgot about Mystic Monk! Mea culpa, etc. As an oblate in training, I should have remembered. Consider the can bought, once you put it in your list. You deserve it, pater optime. I will keep it a secret from my wife, however, until she asks: she is the only other person for whom I will have bought such nectar of the gods. Just an indication of the esteem in which I hold you. What a wonderful thought that you lived so near there. My solution to living in this Godless state would be to move there, pronto!
God bless.
Does this mean that there will soon be a coffee canon law mug?
[Where have you been? I’ve had a can. 915 mug for a long time now! HERE]
A meeting with coffee? No sweat!
(It is the summons to a “meeting without coffee” which is the one to worry about – or so an ex-military friend of mine has told me…)
;-p
[The horror.]
Well, this is the most fun I’ve had so far today. Optime, Pater!
Except for one thing… is that a J or an I? I know you know the story about Bl. JP II… If it *is* a J, though, then that means some of him rubbed off on you that day in Rome, slavishly accurate though you are.
Sic, ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Maxwelliis, Folgeriis, et Mystice Monachum.
Aaand I probably messed that one up too, so mea culpa.
Now I really want to go get another cup of coffee. That’ll make number 3 for the day.
….
On second thought, maybe that is most definitely an I, just in a classical script….
But some people will think it’s a J. [Yes, the J is troubling. But let us not make the perfect into the enemy of the good.]
….
On third thought, maybe I’ve had too much coffee already.
Factum est, pater optime, multa cum gratitudine: ad multos annos!
[Gratias tibi libenter persolvo.]
Quomodo “biliothecula” intellegere?
Salutationes omnibus.
[Error scribendi propter calami lapsum, nisi fallor, aut potionis arabicae abundantiam. Haudquaquam dubitandum’st quin “bibliotecula” intelligatur.]
If Fr. T. Schroeder wrote the summons, you’ll have no legal loopholes; it is ironclad.
LOL! That’s a kind of Tribunal to which I wouldn’t mind being called, seeing how much cafea fruor.
But I question its authenticity. Shouldn’t such a serious summons bear the tribunal seal? Or will the document become official only ex post facto, having been sealed with a ring of coffee shloshed from a mug of latte sententiae? ;-)
[You’ve made a good point. I therefore feel free to ignore it. Or… better… take the summons with me for the abovementioned seal.]
Clearly, Fr. Z’s amor cafeae is bringing out the Latin lover in some of us. Latin lovers of the world are uniting, here, on this public blog. It makes me feel so spirit of post-Vatican II. Share the love, Latin lovers!
Siculum, a member of the John Paul II generation, forgot to say, “…then that means that, blessedly, some of him rubbed off on you that day in Rome.”
Insiders close to the situation report that an official Tribunal seal was not used because the iudex was concerned that such a sealing would actually make the precept a binding canonical document, which then would truly enjoin a penalty on infamy upon our dear Rev. Zuhsldorf if he failed to arrive within the stipulated 30 limit.
Yet another reason that the Diocese of Madison is one of the best in the world!
One wonders what ferrendae sententiae penalty the tribunal would mete out if Father doesn’t appear in 30 days. Being forced to drink Folgers’ crystals?
[BRRRR. I’ll report on time.]
Looks like you need some NCIS “rules” …. like “Gibbs Rule #23” …. but appropriately modified:
Rule 23
Never mess with a
Marine’sPriest’s coffee …. if you want to live.–Guy
or … further modified
Rule 23
Never mess with a
Marine’sPriest’s coffee …. if you wantto liveabsolution.–Guy
[Same difference.]
Ad vidend*am* … bibliotheculam, I should think (GL 427). A shame your confrères didn’t attend the Veterum Sapientia conference at Belmont Abbey College!
Let’s hope they have another next summer… and that we shall see you and your confrères there.
-JP
[Peace. You can do it with a gerund also.]
Good Father Z,
I’ve been able to work up an adequate translation of this summons, but what does “biliotheculam” mean? It’s baffling me (I’m asking semi-seriously and somewhat as a joke).
Ah, never mind, Pater; it seems you’ve answered above.
At first glance, the multicolored pens made made me think it was from Fr. Reggie. [It does have that look.]
“Latte Sententiae,” indeed! si eodem momento temporis cafeam bibissem, cafea ipsa in clavarium computatri omnino proiecta esset!
You know, a person could have a lot of fun with giving something like this typed up to priests who don’t really know Latin…
Just for fun, while I’m sure a better translation could be worked up, this is what I came up with. I left out the abbreviations, however, since they confused me.
“In this letter, [RPD = Reverendus Pater Dominus] John Zuhlsdorf is called, invited, summoned, and urged on, under penalty of infamy, to the seat of the tribunal of the Madison diocese in under 30 days, for coffee-drinking in the coffee-corner “Latte Sententiae”, for viewing the tribunal’s collection of books and also for conferring about the liturgy and Canon Law.
Given at Madison, before the 4th Calendar Day of September, in the year of the Lord two-thousand thirteen.”
I see I left out the “Arcessitur”. Mea culpa.
I agree with Fr. S. above. Fr. T. Schroeder is a canonical force to be reckoned with.
I forgot to mention, I would love to have the title “Peritus Morum et Potuum” as does that person who signed the summons at the bottom left — that position must have quite the job description! “Expert of Morals and Drinks” sounds a bit like a theological bartender.
I <3 the Diocese of Madison Canon Law Tribunal. I <3 them so much. I agree Fr Tait is the best.
I meant more like a “latte sententiae” mug full of horrible puns about a fictional law of coffee. Although I suppose you could have a serious mug warning about Canon 919 and fasting before Mass, to go with your Canon 915 one.
One sheet of paper: .71 cents
One pack of colorful felt tip markers: $3.49
Fr. Z’s hand printed Latin subpoena: Priceless
Is that Fenris Ulf? Signing?
Sorry..Narnia reference… :)
Pax
????????????? ????????????????????????
Try putting your texts through a unicode convert before posting. HERE
Lame, my Japanese just shows up as question marks after posting. I’m not sure the comment system can handle the Asian characters.
Ore mo gaigo de kaku koto ga dekiru. Zan’nen nagara, ore ha itansha da. Ko-hi ha kirai da yo.
There.
I hope P.E. Benedict XVI is reading this post and is smiling that Latin is being ‘talked’ in some of the comments.
re: Mike – “Given at Madison, before the 4th Calendar Day of September, in the year of the Lord two-thousand thirteen.”
For those not familiar with the Roman calendar, the days are counted backward from the referenced day, with I being the reference day itself. The Kalends is always the first day of the month; thus, IV Kal. Sep. is August 29. I and II are never used before the reference date: I is implicit (i.e., Kal. Sep.) and Prid. (pridie) is used instead of II. Where a number is specified it is preceded by ante diem (a.d.)
inexcels: Ko-hi ha kirai da yo.
Nanda?!!!! Nan t’iu gaikokujin deshooka? Kohi ga kirai desuka? Henna gaikokujin dayou!
Kohi ga Kami-sama no okurimono desu~yo!
–Guy
Will the Fishwrap, unable to read Latin, think Fr. Z. is in really big trouble due to his summoning by a Tribunal and run a story about it? [Now that someone here has translated it, I suspect not.]
Father, if that’s what it takes to get you come and see your virtual “friends” around the world and say Mass for them, I’ll get my best pens and inks and parchments out and start writing injunctions for you… [Give it a try.]
Agitur de quadam Madisoniensi compotatione, de invitatione ad conbibium, Graece symposium.
ghp15934: Kohi ga Kami-sama no okurimono desu~yo!
Hahaha. Sore ha hontou ni sou nara, ore ha yappari itansha da yo ne!
Demo maji de, ko-hi ha chou mazui. Naze min’na ga sono nomimono suki ka, ore ni ha rikai dekinai.
(^_^)
*95134. Stupid dyslexia.
inexcels kaitearimashita: Stupid dyslexia.
Zannennagara … demo, watakushi mo “baka shitsudokushou” ga arimasu! [Kedo, bangou dake desu.]
That’s too bad, however, I, to have “stupid dyslexia” … [however numbers only.]
[everybody else … sorry!] Inexcels initially stated he hated coffee, and I took him to task as being a “wierd foreigner [i.e., non-Japanese].
It seems his Japanese is far more fluid than is mine.
–Guy Power
Thanks, Jerry, for the information. As I said, I was sure a better translation could be done. :)
I will remind the honorable gentlemen that there is a connection between Latin and the Japanese word for a particular style of food preparation.
Oh boy are you in TROUBLE! I have it on good authority that you were observed genuflecting instead of bowing. You Rubric scoffer, you!
I will remind the honorable gentlemen that there is a connection between Latin and the Japanese word for a particular style of food preparation.
That certainly leaves me wondering what it is, because I have no idea.
Reverendissime pater,
Noli timere! Confido tuae virtuti. Memor esto, quod dicit Dominus Iesus Christus de te: “[I]njicient vobis manus suas, et persequentur tradentes in synagogas et custodias, trahentes ad reges et præsides propter nomen meum: continget autem vobis in testimonium.” (Lucas 21:12-13) Bibe cafeam ut viderunt quia tu es “serve bone et fidelis” (Matthaeus 25:21). Noli timere! [Timeo solummodo Danaos, et eosdem sententias ferentes.]
Fr Z says: there is a connection between Latin and the Japanese word for a particular style of food preparation.
Tempura.
Tempura.
Ahhh.
And bread: pan
.
.
.
.
and a soft tasty European-style sponge cake made in Nagasaki since the 16th century: kasutera (Castilla)
Regarding the etymology of tempura, this from Wiki:
“…from the word “tempora”, a Latin word meaning “times”, “time period” used by both Spanish and Portuguese missionaries to refer to the Lenten period or Ember Days (ad tempora quadragesimae), Fridays, and other Christian holy days. Ember Days or quattuor tempora refer to holy days when Catholics avoid red meat and instead eat fish or vegetables.[citation needed] The idea that the word “tempura” may have been derived from the Portuguese noun tempero, meaning a condiment or seasoning of any kind, or from the verb temperar, meaning “to season” has not been substantiated. However, the Japanese language could easily have assumed the word “tempero” as is, without changing any vowels as the Portuguese pronunciation in this case is similar to the Japanese.
There is still today a dish in Portugal very similar to tempura called peixinhos da horta, “garden fishies.”…”
–Guy
Here is an interesting bit of coincidence between Latin and Japanese:
The present plural imperative for “go” is “ite”. Now if you study a bit of Japanese you know te marks all commands of a certain politeness level. You might think that since the word for “go” in Japanese is “iku” then the command form should be either “ike” of “ikite” but no. When you actually speak Japanese it comes out ite.
Give Japanese two or three thousand more years and it will resemble Latin more and more. The counting markers are becoming the beginnings of a declension system. The verbs are losing their agglutinative properties and becoming more fusional. It already resembles Latin greatly in it’s sound system. All it really needs is for the verbs to start conjugating for person and it would be very nearly grammatically a Latin clone.
A. Chigau
B. Immo
A. Eigo de dono yu
B. Nonscio, ostende
A. Oshieru? Wakanan
B. Edere ne vis?
A. Tabetai ne.
B. Quid?
A. Eto ne. Do shio, ano… Ja,pan
B. Giapan?
A. Mo, chigau. Pan o yuta desho. Pan ski ka.
B. Selicet. Et tu?
A. Mochiron. Tabemasho ka?
B. Ita, manducemus.
A. Ne
B. Nonne
A. So desu ne
B. Ita est nonne
A. Nani o
B. Obiuan tibi de patre tuo non dicit.
A. Demo, keko yuta yo. Anta kara shinda yuta.
B. Immo, ego pater tuus.
A. Chigau, core wa USO, honto janai. Core wa dekinai.
B. Inquire sensos tuos, nam scis id esse veritas.
A. Tatemae desu ka?