You just can’t make up this stuff!

I saw something over at Fishwrap by Jamie Manson, whose credentials are only too-well-known.

Bear with me for a moment.   In order to get my point across I have to repost something I offered in 2012.  Enjoy and then see my comment, afterward:

I picked this up from a future edition of the National catholic Reporter.

Breaking down barriers, affirming freedom

Jamie O’Brien

12 August 2020

HONOLULU (NcR) The 2020 annual national assembly of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious is underway in Honolulu, under the swaying palms and by the sparkling sandy beaches. Once again the gathered sisters have met to affirm each other in their respective callings.

Beth Mackee, LCWR co-mentor, introduced this year’s national assembly speaker Dyna Moore. Moore, the latest in a series of transgendered Daughters of Charity to profess vows, told the assembly in her keynote speech how liberating it was for her now to be a woman.

However, Moore directed the majority of her remarks to the Assembly’s theme, “Age: The Final Frontier“.

Picking up on the assembly’s strong anticipation of President Obama’s fourth term, Moore reminded the group that “much still needs to be done to carry forward the liberation of women from all forms of oppression, especially sexual oppression”.

Congratulating the LCWR for its defeat a decade earlier of the CDF’s attempted 5-year takeover, Moore recalled the women religious who in the meantime “heroically fought the male hierarchy’s strong support of legislation banning polygamous lesbian marriages”.

Yet Moore challenged the assembled sisters to intensify their efforts in support of a national law aimed at lowering the age of sexual consent to 11.

In her talk, Moore, a professor of linguistics at Notre Dame, surveyed the negative history surrounding language concerning women’s rights.

Moore claimed that “terms such as abortion and prostitution and polygamy, and now pedophilia, have been used by men to stigmatize women in their search for sexual liberty”.

After fighting for the right of women of all ages to have abortions without parental knowledge or consent, Moore suggested that women religious should “lead the battle for the relational freedom of females of every age”.

The assembly rose in a standing ovation when Moore declared that “the human right of girls to choose sexual partners regardless of age represents the final frontier of women’s sexual and reproductive freedom”.

While Moore was speaking, members of the Survivors’ Network of those Abused by Nuns, SNAN (formerly known as SNAP) protested outside Honolulu’s most expensive hotel, where the Assembly was held.

“They are compromising the future repressed memories of countless children,” said a SNAN spokesperson.

___

Now that you have perused that…

In reading Manson’s piece today, I was struck once again with the realization that no matter what satire I might offer you, it couldn’t possibly be weirder than reality.

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30 Responses to You just can’t make up this stuff!

  1. Tradster says:

    “We invite every young adult we know in D.C. who is remotely Catholic.”
    Inviting those who are only remotely Catholic kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

  2. Filumene says:

    My spidey sense tells me, it’s time to amputate the gangrenous appendage. Before it further contaminates the body…..

    My stomach is churning.

  3. Patrick-K says:

    “We bonded over our shared love of the Enneagram [...]”

    At first I read that as “Eucharist,” and thought, well, so far, so not too horrible, but then I re-read it and was reminded that this is the NCR.

  4. majuscule says:

    Patrick-K–

    What came after Enneagram is what got me: Enneagram and other progressive Catholic nerdiness

  5. danhorse says:

    I always enjoy a good “Guerilla Communion” session. Who doesn’t!? There’s just something about the “noncommital formlessness” of it that can’t be explained.

  6. PaulK says:

    “The sacraments of the church make more sense to them when they are invited to enjoy the sacraments of conversation, listening and breaking bread in their ordinary lives.”

    Good grief.

  7. SpesUnica says:

    Man, you really hate Notre Dame, huh? You should have that ulcer looked at.

    “Formlessness…noncommittal;” those timeless virtues of self-worship. Catholics for Choice!? Wow, somehow I am still surprised to see that thrown in. What do you suppose the graph of “former Jesuit Volunteers” compared with “former Catholics” would look like? At least they aren’t bold enough to capitalize the use of “church.”

    I just have this sad mental image of a group of broken people gathered around a coffee table laid with a loaf of rainbow-striped sourdough. Was the door to the real Church slammed in their faces at some point? Woe to any responsible for shooing them away from the Sacraments, and woe to them for rejoicing in their rebellion. It reminds me of the dwarves at the end of Narnia’s The Last Battle, fighting over a bit of ‘turnip.’ So afraid of being taken in that they won’t be taken out.

  8. Massachusetts Catholic says:

    I love this fabulous progressive Catholic pick-up line: “If you got a religious tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?” It stirs the imagination.

  9. Ann Roth says:

    “Guerilla Communion reminds me of what I love about Catholicism,…” but not one word about Jesus Christ.
    I know this group is ridiculous but it concerns me that it is another group re defining what it means to be Catholic.

  10. BLB Oregon says:

    “…the Enneagram and other progressive Catholic nerdiness…”

    How many here suspect that when the progressive Catholics form a schismatic church in the U.S., Richard Rohr is going to act shocked over it, wringing his hands or pretending it was none of his doing, but somehow the fault of the bishops? Between the small cadre of extreme SSPX types and the vast number of these misled “nerds”, I hope the Roman Catholics have some parishes left when the dust settles.

  11. ppb says:

    A very bizarre article indeed. The “guerrilla communion” concept appears to be an attempt to apotheosize a grad school party. But the most telling part for me was the admission that these gatherings have drawn “between 15 and 50 people.” Not exactly earth-shattering; indeed, talk about a self-enclosed circle! But seriously, all sarcasm aside, I earnestly pray that those folks quoted in the article who were saying “this is church for me” will return to the real sacraments.

  12. Supertradmum says:

    Simple route to madness: pride leads to rebellion; rebellion leads to disobedience; disobedience leads to gross sin and errors of judgement; repeated sin and repeated irrationality lead to madness.

    These ladies’ souls are in grave danger as they were given the honor and graces to become nuns. How have they fallen from their First Love….Revelation 2:4.

  13. Mike says:

    Things like these make me grateful I don’t live in the Aloha state anymore… ;)

  14. Mike says:

    …and things like these don’t make me grateful that I’m too ignorant to recognize them as satire before posting a comment. ;)

  15. majuscule says:

    Mike–

    The trouble is that the blog post was satire but the link to NSR was not.

    When they are both believable and unbelievable at the same time it makes the head spin…

  16. Peggy R says:

    Should it not be called “Progressive Communion” as in the “Progressive Parties” that neighbors have going from house to house for each stage of the evening. It fits rather well the agenda too, eh?

  17. Joseph-Mary says:

    Wow! “Moore claimed that “terms such as abortion and prostitution and polygamy, and now pedophilia, have been used by men to stigmatize women in their search for sexual liberty”.
    After fighting for the right of women of all ages to have abortions without parental knowledge or consent, Moore suggested that women religious should “lead the battle for the relational freedom of females of every age”

    This is demonic! While the faithful Franciscans of the Immaculate are suppressed for offering the TLM and for the seminary embracing extra hours of prayer with the Latin Breviary, these women–who are NOT nuns–continue on with impunity. Does no one care for their souls? Or for the souls they lead astray? Why are they not suppressed!!!

    [o{];¬)]

  18. The Astronomer says:

    “Piece, man…as in hand me another slice of pepperoni pizza and we can dig just…being sacramental and hungry and stuff.

  19. Jim R says:

    Enneagram – I’m always unsurprised when people who go in for this sort of quackery are surprised they are not taken seriously. Then again my “chi” never does seem to be in balance. I wonder if they have workshops in phrenology, alchemy, therapeutic touch, snake oil preparation, dowsing, astronomy, reiki or other bogus studies? I’m sure they must.

    Unfortunately aside from being monumentally gullible, if not downright stupid, for buying crapola like that, these poor kids need only look toward any number of long established religious orders – mostly women’s – who promote this stuff. They probably first leaned about this stuff in putative Catholic Schools. I know that’s where I first heard of “milk and honey services” – it’s been a while since I’ve heard of one of those.

  20. pannw says:

    @Joseph-Mary,

    :) go back and look at the date at the header for the report. 2020…it is a satire, but as majuscule noted, when you can believe it so readily it says something not good about the reality.

    God have mercy on these poor deluded souls.

  21. Jim R says:

    astrology…not astronomy…Ok I should proof better before I post

  22. Netmilsmom says:

    When I click the blue link at the top that says
    “I picked this up from a future edition of the National catholic Reporter.”
    It goes here
    http://ncronline.org/news/faith-parish/wisconsin-bishop-threatens-denial-sacraments-rumors-and-gossip

    Is that just my computer?

  23. cpttom says:

    Wow. Very interesting, and thought provoking. That article about Bishop Morlino, could be what will happen in my Diocese and parish in the coming year as Bishop Matano disassembles the “lay lead” structure that exists here in Rochester and brings in the religious orders to make up for the fact we have had low vocations to the priesthood for decades.

  24. de_cupertino says:

    I love the line from that Morlino/Wisconsin article:

    the diocese responded to the fish wrap:
    “We have no hope that assisting NCR with a story will result in a just reporting of the facts regarding the sad situation in Platteville.”

    Fr. Z's Gold Star Award

  25. edwardswyco says:

    I had to double-check if this article was from The Onion! Sheesh!

  26. wmeyer says:

    There is, of course, nothing “remotely” Catholic about the Enneagram, despite its use by all too many, including a local nun to whom my wife was referred for spiritual direction. See JESUS CHRIST: THE BEARER OF THE WATER OF LIFE. As seems so often the case, those who consider such New Age and pagan-derived practices to be compatible with our faith are victims of their own extensive ignorance.

    Just another example of the 70s maxim: “If it feels good, do it.”

    I pray for their souls.

  27. Charles E Flynn says:

    A Dangerous Practice: Catholic interest in the Enneagram persists, by Anna Abbott, for the Catholic World Report.

  28. JacobWall says:

    Yes, Fr. Z, you have been demoted to second best; your imaginative speculation about the 2020 LWCR meeting in Honolulu is not as twisted, strange or off-the-wall as “Guerrilla Communion.” “Guerrilla Communion” would even be funnier, except that it’s actually real …

    Now, the question is, who put you ousted you from #1? Is it these Guerrilla Communion “catholics” for doing such stupid things, or Jamie Manson for her ridiculously enthusiastic reporting of this stupidity?

  29. JacobWall says:

    By the way, I just found out what an enneagram is. I was trying to find the word “Catholic” in the Wikipedia article. They must have overlooked something.

  30. Athelstan says:

    I live in DC, but this is the first I’ve heard of “Guerrilla Communion.”

    For those looking for more traditional Catholic youth groups in Washington, I’d direct your attention to JuventutemDC, which is fairly thriving after just three moths of existence. Our monthly Days of Recollection at St Thomas the Apostle, under the sage leadership of Msgr Andrew Wadsworth, are always packed. And this very week, we will be co sponsoring (along with the Paulus Institute and Juventutem Michigan) the annual Nellie Gray Solemn High Mass at St Mary’s at 6pm after the March For Life – and after that, a Juventutem social across the street.

    I get the sense that the Catholics of Guerrilla Communion are greatly motivated by injustice. If so, I hope that some of them can spare the time to join hundreds of thousands of Catholics in protest against one of the gravest injustices of modern times: legalized abortion.