From a reader:
My Fiancée’s family is SSPX. Since coming to college she has realized the error in their beliefs, so she is no longer SSPX.
We are planning on getting married next november We would absolutely love to get married with a latin mass but her dad will not come to a mass said by anyone not SSPX. Needless to say we would not have an SSPX priest say our mass.
So, our choices are: get married with only a ceremony, her dad would attend this even when said by a roman catholic priest, or have a mass that some of her family would not attend.
First, I notice that you do not mention either your or her parish priest, the pastor of the parishes or parish you attend now. If she is no longer attending a chapel of the SSPX, then she must be going to some parish or otherwise approved chapel. It may be possible, because of the dynamics of her family that you could have the old Mass for the nuptial Mass. But you have to get involved with the parish priest. In fact, you have to get involved with the parish priest anyway.
Second, while it is nice to have everyone be happy with everything, that is not why people get married. You get married because you think it is your vocation and God’s will. It is not her father’s vocation.
Third, if there is a possibility of a wedding ceremony without a Mass, then perhaps that is the best way to go if you cannot find a priest willing to say the older Mass for you for your wedding. It may be that the SSPX priest would be willing to attend.
I am sorry that you must go through this sort of thing. However, you have chosen well to pursue marriage within the bounds, formally, of the Catholic Church. For a wedding to be licit and valid, the the proper form for marriage must be observed. Part of the proper form for marriage is having a witness recognized by the Church. SSPX priests do not have the permission of the Church to witness marriages. Your local parish priest does, however.
I hope this works out peacefully.