Xiao long bao… because they are the best I have had in the USA.
And some spicy shrimp in garlic sauce… because they’ve had their heads hacked off.
I hate platitude cookies.
I expect a fortune.
I detest, even more, flattery cookies… sycophantic cookies.
Yeech.
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Being a Cajun, I had to look up the first item on the menu, lol. It looked a bit strange until I found out what it was. I bet that is tasty. The shrimp looks excellent.
“Pat yourself on the back for creating an opportunity”? Are these things written by ICEL?
You’re making me hu_n_gry!
Ooohhh, again with the dumplings. De-licious looking!
The fortune is on par with “This is the moment when the seas began to stop their [menacing] rise…”
How is that oceanic control workin’ out for you, Obummer?
At a Chinese buffet a couple weeks ago, I (independently, I think) also complained about “platitude cookies.” So, it’s gone from fortune–>platitude–>flattery cookies. The failure of this institution is complete…. “Kick yourself in the butt for thinking you’ll find a fortune here”
Could we have the name of the restaurant so those who might be close can try these?
Pat self on head, sans head…
Those are sort of the Novus Ordo / ICEL of fortune cookies, aren’t they? “Feel good about how wonderful you are!”
albinus1: That is a pretty good analogy. What is needed is a new ars fortunaebiscoctae.
If you had mentioned “Mystic Monk Coffee”as the perfect close to a chinese banquest – you could still pat yourself on the back for creating an opportunity……
Having some experience in the matter, I would recommend either New Green Bo (now Nice Green Bo) in NYC across from the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory at Mott and Bayard, or else Shanghai Cuisine at the corner of Mulberry and Bayard.
Both are within a minute walk from Transfiguration Chuch, the largest Chinese Catholic church in the US, with masses in Mandarin and Cantonese (as well as English). Gregorian style, the building was bought from Lutherans years ago, but it’s pretty nice now!
Father, you can’t have real fortune cookies. Sure, it’s fourth-rate superstition, but it’s still superstition.
Maybe thought (or conversation) provocation cookies would be better.
“All war is based on deception.” Sun Tzu
“Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” Yoda
“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” Mother Teresa
“If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.” St. Francis of Assissi
“A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education.” Teddy Roosevelt
“There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.” St. Francis de Sales
“Slander is worse than cannibalism” St. John Chrysostom
“Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” George Washington
“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” Abraham Lincoln
Actual recent examples of 4th rate divinization:
“You will soon gain something you have always wanted”
“An interesting sports opportunity is in your near future”
“You will soon be asked to join a team. Work cooperatively.”
“An unexpected payment is coming your way!”
“Your careful nature will bring you financial success.”
“You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.”
I will spare you the platitudes that were in the same batch. Sometimes, you spin the wheel, you get lemons.
I also looked up the first item on the menu, using “Google Translate,” and “Detect Language,” since I wasn’t sure what language it was. According to them, the “Language Detected” was Filipino, and the translation was “Xiao long bao.” (!) I figured that it probably wasn’t Filipino anyway, and decided to try Thai, but that came up with the same translation. Getting frustrated, I then began to go through, alphabetically, what I perceived to be Asian languages. The first was Chinese, which also translated the same . . . But then I noticed a question in the same box into which I had typed, saying, “Did you mean ‘????'” When I clicked on that, it said, “Dumplings!”
My all-time least favorite “fortune” still has to be “Say no to drugs”, which takes platitudes one step further into sloganeering, though a runner-up is “You love Chinese food”! Well, obviously, otherwise why would I have gone to eat at a Chinese restaurant in the first place?