Fortune Alert!

Is this actually a fortune?


Please choose your best answer, and give your reason in the combox.

Is this a fortune?

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
This entry was posted in SESSIUNCULA, What Fr. Z is up to and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. albinus1 says:

    Sounds more like a threat!

  2. priests wife says:

    Anything speaking of the future is a fortune

    (golly Fr Z- how many readers will complain of you dabbling in the occult? As for me- fortune cookies are fun- but they are as far as I go)

  3. sheilal says:

    I got this on my latest Panda Express run and kept it, because while it’s not a ‘fortune’, it’s great advice, and applies so well to me personally. ‘Do not let your instincts run right over your reason.’ I tend to do that at times. Replace ‘instincts’ with ’emotions’, and you’ve nailed me. :)

  4. If they’ve got “lucky numbers” on the back, they’re fortune cookies.

  5. Ezra says:

    White’s, Pratt’s, or Beefsteak. The rest are for chumps.

  6. Titus says:

    That’s an advice cookie: better than a platitude cookie, but not a full-blown fortune cookie.

  7. Jaybirdnbham says:

    I voted “no but it almost is”.
    The part about being surprised seems a bit like a fortune (prediction for the future). But the part about joining a new club is only generic-type advice.

  8. John V says:

    I could be mistaken, but I think it’s from the Book of Blessings.

  9. Supertradmum says:

    Almost is was my vote. Better than, “You will travel today” which is always true, unless you actually live in the Chinese Restaurant or Take-away.

  10. teomatteo says:

    For me it is a simple statement. IF i joined a new club today i WOULD be surprised!

  11. Random Friar says:

    I think it is more advisory than anything else. Some people — many people — really do need to get out of the house once in a while and have some form of non-virtual human contact.

    I think we’ve lost some of our humanity by so much virtual-ity.

  12. AnnAsher says:

    definitely not a fortune. A proper fortune would tell you that you will join a new club today and will be surprised.

  13. graphiya says:

    Glad we could help you settle that question.

  14. Supertradmum says:

    PS as to non-fortune fortunes, one I had read “A smile is golden, but a frown is lead.” I opened another one….

  15. Rich says:

    “Yes, but only vaguely so.” “Only vaguely so” as there is a condition attached – that you join a club – and fortunes usually just tell you something is going to happen without making it conditional on your doing something else. However, there is a fortune – that you’ll be surprised – albeit still vague since it doesn’t say in what manner or why you will be surprised.

  16. Mary Jane says:

    Guess I’m in the minority! I voted that it was a fortune. I was comparing it with the other “fortunes” Fr Z has been getting recently, and I thought “Well, compared with the ones Fr has been getting recently, this one is definitely a fortune.”

  17. Supertradmum says:

    A little to the side of topic. We used to go to ManchuWok at the Chinook Centre, (an amazing mall), which is a Chinese restaurant and take-away, started in Canada, by a Maltese immigrant. I cannot remember any fortunes from there, however. You can send a fortune cookie online to your friends at

  18. APX says:

    Whatever it is, it’s a comma splice. *shudder*

  19. colospgs says:

    No, definitely not. It is more of a command.

  20. prisoner says:

    The Militia Templi needs chaplins!

  21. tzard says:

    No, it’s a two-fold command:
    1) Join a club
    2) Be surprised

    “Or else” I think is implied.

    Does your posting it here make it a chain letter?

  22. mike cliffson says:

    Another clue to what happened to the lost Virginia colony!

  23. Not a fortune, but a clear indication that the composer had too much baijio

  24. Braveheart says: defines fortune cookie as “a thin folded wafer containing a prediction or maxim”; maxim is defined as “a principle or rule of conduct”; prediction is defined as “prophecy”; fortune is defined generally as “things that happen or are to happen to a person”.

    So I vote “almost a fortune” because we would need to add/subtract words to get the fortune: “You shall join a club and be surprised” or the fortune: “You join a club and are surprised” or the maxim: “Those who join clubs are surprised”.

  25. incorpore says:

    John V says:
    2 November 2011 at 12:12 pm

    I could be mistaken, but I think it’s from the Book of Blessings.

    Winner!!! Hilarious!

  26. Captain Peabody says:

    It’s a conditional fortune. Not as useful as a regular fortune, more useful than a platitude.

    For the record, I really like the taste of fortune cookies. They’re really quite yummy. Don’t like the taste of the fortunes, though.

  27. Dr. Eric says:

    The least they could do is actually quote Kong Zi, or Meng Zi, or Lao Zi, or any other Chinese sage. I would rather have a “Confucius says:…” in the “fortune” than “You will go on a journey,” or some other thing. Please, if you are reading this, fortune cookie factories, please make your cookies read something more substantial.

    Like this:

    The Master said, “Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue.”

    The Master said, “The superior man is catholic and not partisan. The mean man is partisan and not catholic.” (I can’t believe that the translator used the word catholic.)

  28. Dr. Eric says:

    It didn’t post the Chinese characters so I’m providing the link:

    Scroll down to #14.

  29. stjmen says:

    I voted for Yes, but only vaguely so. I would class it more as a demand, but at least it is telling you what will happen if you do do as you are told.

  30. leonugent2005 says:

    I voted no, it’s a piece of paper with some words written on it. Based on the photo I would guess that whoever made that cookie stuffed that paper in the cookie. I tend to get my advice from other sources.

  31. SPWang says:

    …might be a good cookie to send to Econe’….

  32. acroat says:

    I don’t read the contents of fortune cookies-drives people crazy-I do eat the cookie!

  33. Tina in Ashburn says:

    Written by someone employed by Costco?

  34. pinoytraddie says:

    I Voted the Second Option.

    Would The “Surprise” that This Cookie Fortune Refers to would be:

    A Food Lovers’ Club that is When Revealed,A Catholic Confraternity?

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