A dialogue of Our Lord and the editior of the National Schismatic Reporter

My friend Fr. Martin Fox, distinguished priest of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, on his blog The Bonfire of the Vanities has today an instructive dialogue between Our Lord and the editor of the Fishwrap, the National Schismatic Reporter, Tom Fox (Greek ἀλώπηξ – alōpēx).

Read his worthy intro, but here is the dialogue:

Jesus: “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?” [Luke 9:23-25]

Tom Roberts, editor of the NCR: “Um, Rabbi, that won’t sell. That’s not where people are today.”

Lord Jesus: “What? Won’t sell?”

Roberts: “That taking up your cross business. Don’t you think you should adapt your message to the way people live today?”

Jesus: “I didn’t come to adapt the Word of God to the world; I came to call the world to the Word of God.”

Roberts: “Well, the Jesus I know and serve loved people and didn’t impose a lot of rules on people!”

Jesus: “OK, well, there are many who claim to speak for God. The Father sent me. I have come to testify to the Truth.”

Roberts: “What is truth?”

Jesus: “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.”

Roberts: “Huh. That’s pretty pre-Vatican II stuff there, Rabbi. People won’t like it.”

Jesus: “What are you talking about? ‘Won’t like it’? Dude, they’re gonna crucify me. Have you been listening to anything I’m saying?”

Roberts: “Hey, this has been nice, but King Herod’s having a “sensual spirituality” seminar this afternoon, so I’ve gotta book out of here. But seriously, you’re gonna need to rethink all this. I’ll be happy to help you, let me know.”

Jesus: “Hm? Sorry, I was just praying. For you.”


I can see connecting between Luke, Our Lord, Fox and Herod:

καὶ εἶπεν αὐτοῖς πορευθέντες εἴπατε τῇ ἀλώπεκι ταύτῃ ἰδοὺ ἐκβάλλω δαιμόνια καὶ ἰάσεις ἀποτελῶ σήμερον καὶ αὔριον καὶ τῇ τρίτῃ τελειοῦμαι

Ah… the National Schismatic Reporter….

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. Stumbler but trying says:

    A sad observation albeit a witty one on just what the National Schismatic Reporter is…gee, another group to add to my Lenten prayers. Thanks Fr. Z and Fr. Fox for an amusing read.

  2. NoraLee9 says:

    Laughed myself silly.

  3. Dr. Eric says:

    Is the other NCR more schismatic or just plain heretical?

  4. Dr. Eric says:

    I meant the NCR in Kansas City, not the one owned by EWTN.

  5. mpolo says:

    I’ve got to set my default font to something with decent Greek letters… The italic mu connected with the iota in daimonia making a strange pitchfork thing.

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  7. JMody says:

    I’m sure our Lord would have re-enacted parts of St. Matthew’s gospel, chapter 21:
    [16] And said to him: Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus said to them: Yea, have you never read: Out of the mouth of infants and of sucklings thou hast perfected praise? [17] And leaving them, he went out of the city into Bethania, and remained there. [18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he was hungry. [19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away. [Matthew 21:19] [Latin] [20] And the disciples seeing it wondered, saying: How is it presently withered away?
    [21] And Jesus answering, said to them: Amen, I say to you, if you shall have faith, and stagger not, not only this of the fig tree shall you do, but also if you shall say to this dizzy reporter, Take up and cast thyself into the sea, it shall be done. [22] And in all things whatsoever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.

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