How he obtained it, I can’t even guess at, but a biretta tip to Fr. Ferguson for the copy of this concise response: o{]:¬)
Your Eminence,
I trust this finds you well.
I am forwarding to Your Eminence a letter received recently in my chancery. Obviously, some moron, who knows neither canon law nor theology, has somehow stolen stationery from your dicastery and has managed a passable forgery of your signature. I was not fooled, as it was impossible to think that Your Eminence lacked a basic understanding of the teachings of the Second Vatican Council on the episcopate, let alone a commitment to Our Holy Father’s commitment to a Church of Synodality and subsidiarity. Also lacking in this idiot’s forgery was any compassion or Christian charity, for which Your Eminence has long been known.
I know Your Eminence will want to try and track down and deal with this stupid malefactor posthaste. If there is any further assistance I can give, I stand ready.
In the meantime, please know of my deepest respect for Your Eminence in his onerous ministry.
Kissing the sacred purple, I remain,
Devotedly yours in Christ,
+ Jude Noble
Bishop of Black Duck
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Very clever, but I’m afraid the Vatican is going to rename Black Duck the Diocese of Perpetual Visitation.
Bishop Noble will enjoy his next assignment to the recently revived Diocese of the Faroe Islands…
The diocese of Black Duck will soon be renamed to “Dead Duck”.
[Quacking.. or rather Croaking Together!]
Great to see that the pope finally accepted the resignation of Fatty McButterpants!
[Gee whiz. I missed that in the Bollettino. I think he is in place, still. To quote Silvia McCordle, “The ones we hate last forever.” And we are not talking about Chester.]
I wonder if Bishop McButterpants has thought about starting a blog?
It could feature truly Catholic stuff. A day in the life of a great bishop. You know, Chester causing inevitable rust on a fire hydrant, Chester biting the mailman, Bishop McButterpants at the PD paying the fines that come with Chester’s free time…
And there’s always Chester’s perennial war with the neighbor’s Toy Poodle, O’Brien. Not to be discounted.
“Bishop Noble will enjoy his next assignment to the recently revived Diocese of the Faroe Islands…”
And yet, there is so much valuable mission work to be done in the new Apostolic Administration of the Antarctic Peninsula.