ASK FATHER: My husband abandoned me and our child

Posted on 21 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

From a reader…

QUAERITUR:

It’s been a while since Ive been on WDTPRS but I need help.

I am a convert, and converted after I married. We got some kind of dispensation to be “re” married in the Church, even though my husband is not Catholic. He was raised Mormon, doesn’t practice and occasionally attends Mass with me. Our marriage is sacramental and valid. [?]

He has left me for another woman.

I have been devastated. He told me to file, he will not. I assume it’s a game, but I cannot understand Church teaching.

I’ve prayed a million novenas, thrown myself before Jesus at Adoration and he isn’t coming back that I can see.. should I file for a civil divorce, can I file, should I seek an annulment. My priest said to wait until I had calmed down to make any decisions, it’s been almost 2 months and I’m not calm but my husband has gone, he was the breadwinner, I have no real money etc as he shut down bank accounts and so on.

I do not know what to do as a Catholic what do for Jesus sake and what to do so my son and I are ok. We literally have no way to live for the next few months until I can make money of my own. Not that that matters eternally I know.

Please pray for me and please help me understand better what the Church says. I don’t know what to do.

We have to get marriage right or society will spiral further away from sanity.

The recent Obergefell v. Hodges decision by the Supreme Court is heralded by those who claim that marriage is purely a private issue. Why should it bother us if two men want to get “married?” Why should anyone else’s marriage affect us? What two consenting adults want to do…yadda, yadda, yadda….

Well, here’s a good picture of why marriage matters, and why marriage is a public issue.

Marriage affects all of us. Marriage is the building block of society. When folks don’t take marriage seriously and do things that undermine the sanctity of marriage, their actions have a negative ripple effect throughout society.

Many people find themselves in the situation of this questioner: people betrayed by a spouse. Infidelity in marriage is a grave sin which destroys lives.

The Church teaches that spousal infidelity gives the betrayed spouse the right to seek a separation, although it urges the betrayed spouse to forgive if that is possible and reasonable (cann. 1151-1159).

Sadly, in our society those who are divorced are generally lumped into one category. This is not a new development. It has been the situation for decades. We don’t make the helpful distinctions between those who are the cause of divorce  (the spouse who violated the wedding vows or separated for no good reason), and the spouse who is the victim of divorce. We need to more to help those who are victims.

We need good, Catholic lawyers (civil and canon) who can assist people who are the victims of spousal abuse and abandonment.  We need Catholic lawyers who know the law well and who are motivated by a concern for the parties’ true well-being along with that of their children, and the defense of the good of matrimony.

If reconciliation is not possible, seek the assistance of the local tribunal to see if pursuing a canonical separation would be possible. Sadly, some dioceses simply refuse to utilize this canonical process for whatever reason… but present your case.  Even if they don’t go in that direction, and considering the need to provide for your son, pursuing a civil divorce – given the background you’ve described – would not be sinful at this point.

Your husband has a natural obligation to provide for your care and that of the son whom he has abandoned.  Using the civil courts to enforce that obligation, if no other remedy is possible, is permissible even if it is unpleasant.

Check with the parish or the diocese.  The St. Vincent de Paul Society has done good work in this area.  See what resources may be available for financial help, at least until a steady income becomes available.

Dear readers, pray for this poor woman and her son.  Pray for all the victims of our divorce culture. Marriage has consequences. So does divorce!

Comment moderation is ON.  I will probably let very few comments through.

Posted in "How To..." - Practical Notes, ASK FATHER Question Box, One Man & One Woman | Tagged , , , , ,
32 Comments

ASK FATHER: Use of Novus Ordo Collect in the TLM

Posted on 21 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

From a priest:

This Sunday is the patronal feast of our parish, Sts Joachim and Ann. We have an extraordinary form Mass every Sunday. Do you know if there is a collect for the extraordinary form that mentions both Joachim and Ann that might licitly be used in the extraordinary form?

The present legislation indicates that the two forms (I think they are rites, but that’s another bowl of chowder) should not be mixed.

It seems to me that the best approach would be, on the Feast of St. Ann, to double your collect and pray also the collect for St. Joachim.

 

Posted in Liturgy Science Theatre 3000, SUMMORUM PONTIFICUM | Tagged
6 Comments

Yet another Planned Parenthood baby body parts video

Posted on 21 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Never has the label “Big Business Abortion” been more appropriate for Planned Parenthood. HERE

Another video is out, showing a PP exec negotiating the price of body parts of babies.

Planned Parenthood receives million of YOUR tax dollars.

A new undercover video shows a top Planned Parenthood official discussing “less crunchy” techniques to get “whole specimens” and haggling over the price of fetus tissue sales because she wants “a Lamborghini.”

The video released Tuesday morning, the second put out by the Center for Medical Progress, features a woman identified as Dr. Mary Gatter, who was president of the Planned Parenthood Medical Directors’ Council until 2014 and now works in a leadership and advisory capacity at the local and national level of the organization. Over drinks, Gatter and the undercover activists discuss “specimen” prices, eventually settling at $100 for “intact tissue.”

There’s more.

YouTube thumbnailYouTube icon

I suspect we are nowhere near the bottom of this chilling circle of Hell.

Posted in Emanations from Penumbras, Sin That Cries To Heaven | Tagged
25 Comments

Signs in the Heavens: recent rare planetary and stellar conjunctions

Posted on 20 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

You might recall that I posted about the theory about the Star of Bethlehem.   His arguments are pretty good.

I was sent a link to an interesting video in Spanish about another triple conjunction of Jupiter and Venus in Regulus in Leo.  Because of retrograde motion, there will be 8 conjunctions over a period of 423 days.  This is similar to what occurred some 2000 years ago.

He talks about a “sacred astronomy”. His suggestions extend to future events, which I am not so sure about.

There is one fast motion section where you can see the retrograde motion play out. It’s fun to watch the Moon go whizzing by, and the other planets drift through.

You decide.

Posted in Look! Up in the sky! |
4 Comments

ASK FATHER: Many languages in one Mass

Posted on 20 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

From a reader…

QUAERITUR:

Is it possible to say Mass in many languages? In example part in English, part in French or better part in English and Canon in latin?

Yes, this is possible in the Ordinary Form.

Is it a good idea?

I don’t think so.

If there is a group of people (who all belong to the Latin Church) speaking different languages, why not use everyone’s language, Latin?  People can have their own translations.

(And, no, I am not fan of the multiple language papal Masses either.)

 

Posted in "How To..." - Practical Notes, ASK FATHER Question Box, Liturgy Science Theatre 3000, Our Catholic Identity | Tagged ,
21 Comments

ASK FATHER: Father says Mass in alb and stole

Posted on 20 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

From a reader:

A new pastor to our church celebrated the Sacrifice of the Mass dressed only in a white alb with a green stole this Sunday. It is my understanding a priest is always to wear proper liturgical vestments when carrying out his priestly function. The heat and humidity may have prevented him and I would like to give him the benefit of a doubt but he seems to be a maverick, if you get my drift, refusing even to purify the sacred vessels after communion or after Mass. Can the bishop give special dispensations for priests who may have health problems and simply can not bear the heat of wearing a chasuble?

No.

Put more money in the collection so that the parish can get – pace Francis – an air conditioner.

Posted in "How To..." - Practical Notes, ASK FATHER Question Box, Francis, Lighter fare, Liturgy Science Theatre 3000 | Tagged ,
14 Comments

Banning kneeling violates religious freedom

Posted on 20 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

single genuflectionAt HPR Fr. Regis Scalon, OFM.Cap. has a good piece which might be sent to ever parish priest who seeks to force people not to kneel during Mass.

Here is the introductory section:

Kneeling Ban: Good Liturgy or Loss of Religious Freedom?

Some religious leaders in the Latin Rite are pressuring Catholics not to kneel at the Consecration, or to genuflect at their reception of the Eucharist. This trend has gained a great deal of traction in recent years, and is causing alarm among those who see it as a restriction of religious freedom. As Catholics, we have come to expect that our secular government wants to restrict our religious freedom, but it’s a new and disturbing trend when it comes from inside the Church.

This trend, which is being fostered by serious religious groups and orders, [okay… I see what he is doing here, but how serious is a group that pressures people not to kneel or genuflect in the presence of God?] is being promulgated in both explicit and subtle ways. Whether it’s by making an actual rule, or by merely showing disapproval, participants in these liturgies are no longer free to “fall to their knees” in adoration. Instead, everyone must stand, sit, or bow—depending on the “rules” of that particular group. Deviation is not welcome, and in some cases, is forbidden.

What is behind this restriction? Is it a good thing? [No.] What does the Church say about the ways an individual may show adoration? The purpose of this paper is not to judge or condemn those who favor restrictions, but to show that such restrictive rules are incompatible with Church teachings, and even with the commonly accepted idea of religious freedom.

First, let’s be clear: the issue is not to stop anyone from standing, sitting, or bowing if their consciences tell them to do so during the liturgy. They should be free to do so! By the same token, those who wish to kneel should be free to do that as well.

Later, we will use Church teachings and documents to support the contention that a ban on kneeling is incompatible with our God-given religious freedom. For now, let’s examine the practical outcomes of such a ban: Under the “sit, stand, bow, or else” scenario, worshipers are being forced to think about “the community,” when they should be devoting their whole “body, soul, mind, and strength” to our Lord becoming truly Present in the Eucharist. [Do I hear an “Amen!”?] In a restrictive atmosphere, even when an individual feels called by conscience to kneel in adoration, they will wrestle with nagging questions: “Am I offending my fellow worshipers?” “Will I be seen as a religious fanatic?” “Will it hurt my ability to stay in the group?”

It’s wrong to force such uneasiness (for some, it could even amount to a troubled conscience) on anyone during what should be a moment of profound adoration of God! However, that’s the effect of this trend. Even though the motives of these “trendsetters” may be pure, the hope is, they will reconsider their direction. They may believe that conformity will provide a more pleasing communal experience. But that’s not the goal of Catholic liturgy. [Right!] The goal of our liturgy is to bring each individual into closer relationship with our Creator—not to please each other or the “group.” In short, it is wrong to coerce Catholics to act against a centuries-old tradition of “bending the knee” at the Consecration and Communion of the Eucharist. This is not a personal opinion, this is the position reflected in Church documents and teachings.

[…]

Read the rest there.

 

Posted in Liberals, Liturgy Science Theatre 3000, Our Catholic Identity, Religious Liberty, The Drill | Tagged , , ,
41 Comments

QUAERITUR: Mass texts for St. Elijah, Old Testament Prophet

Posted on 20 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Many of the great figures of the Old Testament are considered saints and have a day in the Roman liturgical book called the Roman Martyrology. I post about them on occasion.

The Martyrology says that when the day is clear on the regular calendar – id est there is not even an obligatory memorial – a saint of the day in the Martyrology can be selected.

Here is the entry for St. Elijah, prophet, in the Roman Martyrology:

2. Commemoratio sancti Eliae Thesbitae, qui propheta Domini in diebus Achab, regis Israel, Dei unici iura vinidicavit adversus infidelem populum tali animi robore, ut non modo Ioannem Baptistam, sed etiam Christum ipsum praefiguret; oracula scripta non reliquit, sed eius memoria fideliter servatur, praesertim in monte Carmelo.

In the older, traditional Roman calendar, I think we must use St. Jerome Emiliani.  In the newer calendar, I think we are freer, since there is only an optional memorial for St. Apollinaris.

Problem: Where to find the texts for Mass for St. Elijah?

Since the Carmelites venerate him, they have Mass texts.

Could Fr. Sven O’Brien use them at the diocesan parish of St. Ipsidipsy in Black Duck?

He could probably ask permission of the local Bishop of Black Duck.

In any event, here is the spiffy preface which a reader sent:

15_07_20_Elijah_03

Preface of Our Father, S. Elijah the Prophet: Right indeed it is and just, proper and for our welfare, that we should always and everywhere give thanks to you, holy Lord, almighty Father, eternal God; and that we should triumphantly praise, bless, and proclaim you on this solemn feast of blessed Elijah, your Prophet and our father: who, at your word, arose like fire, closed the sky, raised the dead, smote the tyrants, killed the impious, and laid the foundations of the monastic life; who, fed with bread and drink by the ministry of an angel, walked in the strength of that food as far as the holy mountain; who was carried off in a whirlwind of fire, to return as a herald of the second coming of Jesus Christ our Lord; through whom your majesty is praised by the Angels and the Archangels, by the Cherubim too and the Seraphim, who lift up their endless hymn, day by day, with one voice singing: Holy… [Not my translation.]

Finally, the mention of Elijah and Carmelites prompts me to remind you to refresh your coffee supply with

[CUE MUSIC]

… Mystic Monk Coffee!

When you’ve hard a hard week of searching for Mass texts for Old Testament prophets until you look like Gandalf in the archives of Minas Tirith, you can still save the world from Sauron, and find your Mass formulary, by drinking lots of …

Mystic Monk Coffee.

Do you not care about finding that long-lost parchment?

Do you not care about … about the liturgy?

Is it possible that you don’t care about saving the liturgy and saving THE WORLD?!?

What would Gandalf do?  Would he order iced tea?!?   Actually, that sounds pretty good today.  The monks have tea, too.

Anyway…

Mystic Monk Coffee!

It’s swell!

CLICK TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM EVIL

Posted in Liturgy Science Theatre 3000, Saints: Stories & Symbols | Tagged
9 Comments

Catholics can respectfully disagree with Pope Francis on economics

Posted on 20 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

My friend Fr. Gerry Murry has a good comment on Laura Ingraham’s new site, LifeZette (don’t ask me about that name, I’m not sure either).  My emphases and comments.

Can Capitalists Be Good Catholics?
Pope Francis warns of ‘subtle dictatorship’
by Fr. Gerry Murray

Pope Francis’ recent scathing criticisms of capitalism and the free-market have left many American Catholics scratching their heads, wondering if they have to hit the confessional next time they go out to buy a new car.  [Not to mention turning on the air conditioner. Laudato si’ 55.]

“Once capital becomes an idol and guides people’s decisions, once greed for money presides over the entire socioeconomic system, it ruins society,” said the pontiff at a global gathering of popular movements in Bolivia. [We can all agree that both making anything into an idol and greed are bad.]

In this scathing critique of the modern economic system, he warned about “the evil effects of this subtle dictatorship” that “destroys human fraternity” and “sets people against one another.”

In a passionate delivery, he cautioned about the spoils of greed: “The economy should not be a mechanism for accumulating goods” but requires the “fitting distribution of its goods among all.”

Francis described the global financial system as “the new colonialism,” and decried “the imposition of measures of ‘austerity’ which always tighten the belt of workers and the poor.” [“austerity” measure… as in Greece?  BTW… isn’t Argentina the Greece of the Americas?]

[NB] This brings us to the inevitable question: Does being a good Catholic mean being “anti-capitalist” or “anti-free market?” Are Catholics obliged to agree with the pope’s critique? The answer to both questions is no.

One can be a devout Catholic and disagree thoughtfully and respectfully with Francis’ economic-political outlook. Moral and ethical conclusions about the actual functioning of domestic economies, international banking, and global largely fall in the realm of prudential judgment. [Exactly.] Should American investors buy foreign bonds? Should corporations build factories in poor countries? Should governments sign free-trade agreements with neighboring states? All of that is up for free discussion and debate.

On the plane back from Paraguay, Francis admitted his distaste for the subject of economics.

He said, “On Greece and the international system, I have a great allergy to economic things, because my father was an accountant and when he did not manage to finish his work at the factory, he brought the work home on Saturday and Sunday, with those books in those day where the titles were written in gothic. When I saw my father I had a great allergy and I didn’t understand it very well. Certainly, it would be all too simple to say that the fault is only on one side. If the Greek government has brought forward this situation of international debt, also they have a responsibility.”

An American reporter pressed the pope on his critique of the “global economic system,” which many see as directed at the United States. He replied, “I heard that there were some criticisms from the United States. I must begin studying these criticisms, no?” he said. “Then we shall dialogue about them.”

[NB] So Catholics are invited by the pope himself to disagree with his conclusions on matters that are under discussion. In matters of economics, he admits his lack of interest and hence invites qualified persons to criticize his positions. He has promised to study those criticisms.

He wants to dialogue with those who disagree with him. That is all to the good.

Hopefully the Holy Father will take some time to study and absorb some of what has been offered as a criticism of some of his statements on markets and the global economy.

Posted in The Drill | Tagged , ,
34 Comments

My View For Awhile & NYC – Day 4: Hot and Sticky Edition

Posted on 19 July 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

When I headed out for parts north today it was about 95° and really humid.  Add to that black clothing (aka solar panels)

It was just about then that a priest friend sent me a photo of himself in his new white cassock with black trim.   Gotta get me one.

This is the little church in Sleepy Hollow.  I did not see anyone running around without a head.

I went to the a Missa Cantata of a newly ordained priest.  He acquitted himself well, but it was quite warm in that church, I must declare. I’m glad I didn’t have all that gear on.

Then it was off to Flushing for Chinese!   I’ve been hearing that the really good Chinese is in Flushing and now I have experiential knowledge and not only theoretical knowledge.

Indeed, the food at the (recommended) place we went was stupendous.

First, we went primarily for the xiao long bao.  Well, they can take a bow for their bao, which were, I do hereby declare, the best I’ve ever had.  I’ve eaten these in a lot of places.  These are the best so far.

 

These were hot and sticky, too.  They were scorching hot, as a matter of fact, and tenacious.  But… WOW.

Next, chili peppers with shredded potato.   This stuff is super addictive.  You can barely stop eating it.

A standard, shredded pork in garlic sauce.  It was very good, but I’ll be game for something else the next time.

There followed another round of xiao long bao.

The people were very friendly (not at all the case usually in most Chinese restaurants).  I really liked their polo shirts: a xiao long bao doing kung fu!

I am both glad and sad that this place is so hard to get to.

The meal included an amusing water spilling incident.  The tactical clericals proved their worth as the water simply rolled off.  I almost wish it hadn’t: it must have been over 100 in the restaurant.  When we went outside, it felt cool at 93.

And so the adventure continues.

Off we zipped past the alien spaceships, to LGA.

I arrived to find that my flight was/is (as I write) delayed so its now the “red eye”.

Security took about 5 minutes, even though the pre-check line was closed.   Since I had pre-check, however, they had an “expedited” pass, so I didn’t have to fiddle with my shoes. I was still, however, instructed to “divest” my laptop from my bag.  I’m not sure how the laptop felt about being undressed in public, or otherwise be dressed down in public.

Who writes that stuff, anyway?

The lounge is nearly empty, but there are still a few people here who seem to think that it is their private living room.

Really?

Posted in On the road, What Fr. Z is up to | Tagged
4 Comments