SSPX stunning announcement!

I received this note:

(WDTPRSNEWS.COM – Ecône, Switzerland) In a surprise move, the followers of the late Archbishop Marcel Lefevbre in the Society of St. Pius X, have issued a document creating within their ranks an “ordinariate” for Catholics who wish to celebrate the Novus Ordo according to the official rubrics.

According to the press release, the SSPX saw the need to provide a refuge for priests and lay faithful alike to preserve the few vestiges of Catholic identity they retained in the midst of their modernist errors.

Fr. Sven O’Brien, sub-vice assistant director of the eastern division of the Society’s German province, said in a phone interview, “Sure, they are dupes of modernist Rome, but they have souls. In these drastic new circumstances, we have to provide a refuge.”

The SSPX’s move was sparked by the recent decision of Pope Francis to wash the feet of women during a Holy Thursday liturgy, in clear violation of the duly issued rubrics in the modernist-influenced Novus Ordo Missale Romanum.

Some rank-and-file Catholics who attend Novus Ordo Masses still want to have Mass without the controversies caused by abandoning the law.

“We are the defenders of Eternal Rome,” Fr. O’Brien continued. “Their ship is sinking. We have to throw them a life-preserver.”

The 32-page SSPX document, entitled “Modernistarum coetibus”, establishes a sub-group within the Society that permits the members to celebrate the Novus Ordo of Pope Paul VI in Latin according to the rubrics and texts as they are printed in the official books.

“Like him or not,” said Fr. Eldon Friel of the SSPX chapel in Tall Tree Circle, “that Father Z, even though he’s a liberal, got it right. Say the black and do the red. Say the texts as they are written and follow the rubrics as they are printed. That’s a step in the right direction, a step towards eternal Rome.”

The new SSPX sub-group called the Ordinariate of Mary, Queen of Tradition, was established immediately by the issuing of the new document.

When asked about reception of the new provisions, Fr. O’Brien said, “Hey, it’s early, but we’ve had to assign more seminarians to answer the phones. They’re ringing off the hook!”

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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91 Responses to SSPX stunning announcement!

  1. Mary T says:

    April Fool’s Day!

  2. Well, hot dog! If this isn’t the best way to start off an April… I don’t know what is!

  3. Warren says:

    Very good, Fr. Z! Thanks for the chuckle.

  4. Hank Igitur says:

    What a stunt
    May you receive what you deserve for such mischief
    the description of yourself as a liberal gives you away
    Only the (true) Pope can create an ordinariate
    Let us hope the existing ones remain unscathed

    May you incur the wrath of the departed Archbishop Le Febvre
    or even more immediate on this mortal coil………
    + Williamson

    let us pray for the SSPX, they have been proven prudent in one sense
    to “wait and see” since all bets appear off right now concerning Tradition.

    You have revealed a rather impish facet of yourself today, quite the trickster

  5. jbpolhamus says:

    And do you know, I had already filled out my application, folded a cheque into it, and was about to drop the envelope into the mail, when suddenly I realized that you were kidding! Dang-itttttttt! If only it were true. But well done!

  6. Ambrose Jnr says:

    Hehe, Fr Z, thanks to you I got today’s date right at once.

    I like the reference to you as a liberal…you never know, I guess a minute minority of SSPX’ers might view you as ‘caving in to modernism’ :-P , but ‘a liberal’, that’s a stretch too far even in their minds, I bet…

    Let’s continue to pray that Pope Francis abides by Jesus’ Liturgical Will and continues the reform of the reform in the liturgy.

  7. Sieber says:

    I’m waiting for the Holy Father to appear in a humble Jesuit cassock or a white business suit.

  8. tzard says:

    Before I remembered the day, I paused at the title….

    I honestly can’t imagine the SSPX making any kind of decision at all, stunning or otherwise.

    (True they have and do, sort of, but they’re all “hem and haw” nowadays)

  9. Now if you had done this with Rome actually issuing them full canonical recognition it would have been the best April Fool’s Joke ever. Still this was a good one!

  10. Jack007 says:

    Father Z had me…until the reference to Tall Tree Circle. Then the alarm bells went off.
    That one ranks right up there with his famous St. Ipsy Dipsy. LOL

    Yes, “That Fr. Z” indeed! :-)
    Jack in KC

  11. Fr_Sotelo says:

    Just for that, good Father, the SSPX are going to publish an article about you joining the Women’s Ordination Conference! hahahaha

  12. thereseb says:

    That is very generous of the SSPX, but I think they should add a rider that the Novus Ordo Refugees do NOT bring their musical traditions with them.

  13. Aquinas says:

    Well thought up Father!
    Your letting your wish fulfillment show. tut….tut
    Clearly, the SSPX need to to something to survive.
    Sadly, the present Bishop of Rome does not seem the slightest bit interested in the SSPX.

    If they had a Chapel near me, I would go.

  14. APX says:

    I almost bought it. I’m impaired by severe sleep deprivation.

  15. Jim says:

    This is great news Father.
    We will be well rid of these pretend catholics when they leave to join this new ordinariate.

    I mean to found a society for the restoration of the Clapping Gloria as a response. I trust that I can rely on your support as we build greater Active Participation through hand-actions.

  16. Virgile says:

    Ha ha ha!!!
    This was the best April Fool I read today!

  17. Imrahil says:

    April, April…

    That was a good one.

  18. Absit invidia says:

    Tricksy hobitses!!

  19. Jack Regan says:

    You gotta love April 1st. Here is our stab at a joke. Probably playing to a different audience!! http://www.catholicyouthwork.com/index.php?topic=1250

  20. Bea says:

    Good grief!
    I fell for it.
    Now I’ve got to re-email my contacts.
    Red-faced in the Southwest but it’s 4 AM .
    Is that a good excuse???

  21. Ed the Roman says:

    In other giant breakthroughs:

    http://www.google.com/landing/nose/

  22. Oooooh Fadder,

    Tell us, did Msgr. Marini put you up to this? I bet he is getting a good laugh!

  23. RJ Sciurus says:

    I do believe that this is going to disrupt the VORTEX once again…

  24. OrthodoxChick says:

    I was completely clueless about today’s date until I checked in here. Thanks for the reminder!
    And yes, you got me!

  25. MacBride says:

    Wow Fr Z, how late did you stay up thinking of this one? Thanks for the laugh!

  26. jessicahoff says:

    You and Cranmer really got folks going this morning – two of the best April fools jokes going :)

  27. Mariana says:

    “WDTPRSNEWS.COM – Ecône, Switzerland”

    : ) !

  28. The Masked Chicken says:

    This just in…

    April Fools day has an interesting history. No one really knows where it came from and Wikipedia is not very helpful in tracing when it stabilized as a joke-playing day. Since April 1st is the octave of the Feast of the Assumption, some have speculated that this is a day for joviality, although I don’t see the connection. There is an improbable theory that, before the Gregorian Calendar reform, seven days after the Feast of the Annunciation was the new year (much as seven days after Christmas is the new year) and, when the calendar changed, some people didn’t get the memo and celebrated the new year at the wrong time. They were fooled by April 1st. This explanation is probably wrong, because the appearance of April 1st as a joke-playing day did not spread uniformly across Europe, as the calendar reform did.

    Wikipedia does not mention that this is the first week after the Easter full moon and, since this occurs during the octave of Easter, it is a time of merriment. Some have thought that the influence of the moon was particularly strong, robbing men of thir senses (thus, the April Fool). There are other, spurious injections to ancient Rome and a fabricated April Fools explanation involving Constantine.

    My best guess is that it is the first day of the first month after the first full moon of spring. Certainly, a time to make merry.

    We take you back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

    The Chicken

  29. The Masked Chicken says:

    “There are other, spurious connections to ancient Rome and a fabricated April Fools explanation involving Constantine.”

  30. mamajen says:

    LOL

  31. Giuseppe says:

    Bravo! You totally had me all the way up to Modernistorum coetibus. Bravo!

  32. teomatteo says:

    “Like him or not, that Fr. Z…” Boy, that insert gave it away as fabricated for sure. For we all love our Fr. Z,,!

  33. Eugene says:

    you absolutely got me Father…after a stressful, tiring, emotional, exhilirating and sad Easter weekend (due to the death of a fmaily acquaintance on Easter Sunday of all days)…I started asking God for prayers for our Church and then remembered the calendar day…thank you for the laugh good Father

  34. Oh deary me… The Scottish Catholic Observer thought this was true and just posted a link on Facebook about this….

    Father??!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!!
    lol

  35. TLM says:

    HaHa, this is a masterpiece Fr!

  36. Andrew says:

    The original Latin text of the document is available on the internet: it is written in elegant Latin, as one can discern from the opening paragraph which reads:

    Modernistorum coetibus, quia nescimus quid hercle veneni in eventibus recentioribus latet, penitus concussus est jam animus ita ut efflagitarent se, tum singuli tum glomeratim, in Societatis Nostrae communionem se recipi, quippe quam expostulationem Societas Nostra sane censuerit esse admittendam ne amplius pauperculis rerum novarum studiosis panem petientibus lapides porrigerentur.

  37. VexillaRegis says:

    Heh heh! A very obvious joke, but a funny one! The poor SSPX-people WILL be busy answering the phone and posting denials on their site, heh heh, ;-)

  38. feargalmac says:

    Had me hook line and sinker for about an hour. My poor wife thought I’d finally lost it. Obviously I’m too trusting, or should that be gullible?

  39. wanda says:

    I bought it until…’that Fr. Z., even though he is a Liberal’. Must have more than half a cup of coffee when checking in at Fr. Z.s place!

  40. The Masked Chicken says:

    If you build it, they will come…?

    The Chicken

  41. A.D. says:

    I fell for it – hook, line, and sinker! I was already praying for their immortal souls. I’m very gullible at times.

    Good one!

  42. workingclass artist says:

    *snicker*

    Well done Father Z

  43. Christopher says:

    Good April Fools prank Father!

    In other news:

    The National Catholic Reporter repented of their nonsense http://ncronline.org/animportantmessagetosubscribers.html

    God Bless.

  44. phlogiston says:

    You got me Father. Here I was, thinking I was on the alert for April Fools’ jokes with a pre-teen in the house, but you showed me exactly how far off I was on that. Very, very good.

  45. Jon says:

    My sense of humor died on March 13th.

    Poor me.

  46. Dr. Edward Peters says:

    What a screeeeeeam. Some of these comments are pretty good, too.

  47. oldCatholigirl says:

    Thanks, Father Z.
    The penny dropped and I started LOL on “Sven O’Brien”.

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  49. gjp says:

    I thought the WDTPRSNEWS.COM at the beginning was the giveaway. Nice one.

  50. JabbaPapa says:

    You neglected to mention, Father, how this new Ordinariate will be using the venerable Fish symbol of Christians both Ancient and Modern …

  51. Widukind says:

    Masked Chicken (the Banded Bantam ?)
    Thank you for your background information on April Fool’s Day.
    I have also found that in German folklore, 1 April, is the birthday
    of Judas Iscariot. I guess they would consider him the real April
    “fool” or “Geck”. Incidently, this folklore holds 1 August as the
    day Lucifer was thrust out of heaven and into hell, and 1 December
    commemorated the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah. These three
    days were considered “un-days” or ‘non-days” when nothing could
    ever be begun or completed. It was best just to wait idly indoors until
    the day passed.

  52. Well Done Father! I posted an April Fools joke on my blog about Pope Francis deciding to Ordain Women and the SSPX/FSSP joining forces to stave off the exodus from the Church. It went so marvelously I woke up to some hate mail, I lost 550 twitter followers, and my Priest told me (jokingly) that the Vatican was calling to see what fool started the ordination rumor.

    I love April Fools!

  53. wecahill says:

    Brilliant Father! you had me for the first few paragraphs, but then I remembered the date. Great follow-up posts, especially from Andrew!

  54. Andrew says:

    PatriciusOenus:

    Ignoscas oculorum aciem senectute hebescentem atque o ab a non discernentem. Alpha ab omega tamen hucusque distinguo.

  55. St. Louis IX says:

    Soon this joke {surreal} may be on all those with any attachment to the Holy Traditions of the Church. Verily many might find themselves looking for this very thing.
    Jesus Mercy

  56. Sixupman says:

    ” ………………… idle hands.”1

  57. That’s funny. The SSPX just posted their April Fool’s Joke: “In a stunning announcement Fr. Zuhlsdorf admits that Pope Francis is a disaster and will begin the process of joining the SSPX.”

  58. TNCath says:

    This just in:

    “The Leadership Conference of Women Religious hails this move by the SSPX as an important step to dialogue, mutual sharing, and collegiality. What a selfless act of being church! The president of LCWR looks forward to the day when she and Bishop Fellay came join hands and hearts and together proclaim in song, ‘All are welcome, all are welcome, all are welcome in this place!’”

  59. The Egyptian says:

    April fools

    However , the mind wonders, enough Happy Clappy stuff could make one consider, just to get away from the garbage

    still good one Fr

  60. Dla says:

    Be wary of the net today-you never know when the April Fool will strike next!

  61. Choirgirl says:

    I must confess (as in “Go to Confession”) that I had to read the first sentence twice before I checked the date (3/31/13) and realized it was all TRUE!

    I must confess even further that I, as a patronizer of the Novus (I never see anyone smile when they use this term) Ordo form of the Roman Rite, was starting to feel so marginalized by the so called “Latinistas,” that I started to contemplate the possibility of offering my back yard as the venue for HolyFeetWeek’14. I thought it would be such a fabulous opportunity for the Great Unwashed (and I include “myself” in there) who live on my block to become the Great Washed via Pope Francis’ kind and inclusive ablutions.

    But this announcement from SSPX is EVEN BETTER!!! AND WHO BETTER THAN SSPX to make this brilliant move?!?

    They, more than anyone else, understand what it’s like to have tradition pulled out from under one’s feet (washed, if you’re a male…), and that whether a tradition is a few hundred years old or only fifty years young in comparison, tradition is new to every generation when they first hear of it. Don’t tread on me AND DON’T TAKE AWAY MY VERNACULAR!

    In closing, here is one of the songs that I hope will migrate under the Great Novus (is that you holding your nose?) Ordo Diaspora:

    Lord, I have only one boat
    To take me across the great river
    To my daily labor,
    Where I earn a miniscule pittance,
    (With which I feed myself and my cat)
    While enduring humiliations from my boss.

    Oh Lord, I have only one boat,
    Only one job,
    Only one cat.
    My boat I have left in the sand there
    Just for you
    Right next to the cat.

  62. NBW says:

    Fr. Z , you had me fooled! Very good!!!!!

  63. Luvadoxi says:

    Yep. You got me. Maybe I’m just lacking a sense of humor, but I refuse to laugh at myself or put myself down over this one. This wasn’t nice. I don’t care if it’s April Fool’s Day. This just wasn’t nice because of all that’s gone on and how I got my hopes raised again for nothing.

    [Have a lovely day!]

  64. Potato2 says:

    I was tipped off by the language that the SSPX spoke with. Too casual.

    But these days there is no April fools joke about a Catholic subject that is too far fetched.

    While the Joke was good. It made me sad. It made me mad. That with all that is going on in the Church stuff like this is actually believable. Actually it is more believable than these headlines would have been a month ago.
    Pope resigns
    Jesuits control Papacy
    Pope does not want to be called Pope
    Pope washes women’s feet.
    Pope abandons liturgical matters.
    Liberal claim Pope as their own

  65. Poisson d’Avril! Parfait, mon pere!

    Dear Masked Chicken – Some say that April Fool’s originated in France, since Poisson d’Avril [April Fish got reeled right in...] dates back a ways. ~Tina from the Ashburn Pond

    I heard that the SSPX saw that the ‘nuns on the bus’ methods were so effectively winning, that they are looking for old female SSPXers to don stretch pants and blue hair dye, and travel the country. And who knew that ukeleles [a good size for a crowded bus] are the perfect accompaniment to more upbeat and jazzy syncopated Gregorian Chant?

  66. Mike says:

    “Like him or not,” said Fr. Eldon Friel of the SSPX chapel in Tall Tree Circle, “that Father Z, even though he’s a liberal, got it right. Say the black and do the red. Say the texts as they are written and follow the rubrics as they are printed. That’s a step in the right direction, a step towards eternal Rome.”

    This is good… “that Father Z, even though he’s a liberal”… HA HA HA! I was actually kind of duped until I read this and recalled that it was April 1st. Good one Father!

  67. VexillaRegis says:

    Fr. Z, can’t you make a mug with a picture of St Mary with the text “Mary Queen of Tradition”? It has a really good ring to it, but the new title may need a papal recognition… If not, I’ll by two mugs instantly!

  68. Andkaras says:

    I’m starting to believe that the possibilities are endless in this church… and so are the characters…heh heh :)

  69. Anchorite says:

    Very funny, Father! I am reminded again and again how dear Pope Benedict spoiled us:
    almost every move by Francis now appears nearing a headline from the Onion!
    - Pope Washes Muslim’s Girl Feet, Says “Humble” For 254th Time.
    - New Pope Never Says “Pope”
    - New Pope Says “Shorten the Black, Do the Opposite of the Red”
    Anyway, when all of that is over, history will mark him as “Jorge Maria Cardinal Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires, a claimant to Papacy under the name ‘Francis, Bishop of Rome’ in the last years of Pope Benedict XVI’s reign. Last seen in 2013 in one of the corridors of Domus Sanctae Marthae in Rome, being ‘humble,’ and scared of ‘trappings.’ Present whereabouts unknown.”

  70. MattWill says:

    Fr. Z, you forgot the companion press announcement from the Superior of SSPV:

    “As the authentic standard bearers of the true Catholic Religion, we invite all disaffected SSPX members (who have now realized just how soft SSPX really is) to join us in promoting and professing the true Catholic Faith. Consequently, we are temporarily suspending the one-time registration fee to join SSPV. We have suspected for years that the liberal, apostate SSPX was being slowly infiltated by Freemasons and the vile minions of Bugnini and it seems they have succeeded. We have also warned SSPX repeatedly about being too cozy and chummy with the papal pretenders of Rome and in tolerating dialogue with the new modernist, Conciliar religion. Told you so!”

  71. AdMajoremDeiGloriam says:

    I got way too excited after reading the title on my RSS reader. After the day I woke up to your post on the Pope’s resignation, I figured anything was possible. Good one.

    Seriously though, does anyone know of any active prayer initiatives for the SSPX? I’ve been offering Holy Communion for their reunification (might not be the proper term; regularization?) for about a year, but I think this is one petition in which I hope we can all imitate the persistent widow. It’s too easy for both sides to accept the present situation.

  72. @Wanda, Yes, but be sure not to have a mouthful of said coffee when reading Fr Z on April Fool’s day, or there could be unfortunate consequences! ;) I am still chickling! Father, you had me right up until the quote about Fr. Z–then I looked up at the opening of the article and saw WDTPRSNEWS.COM and realized I had been tricked! This is great. Goodness, have to bop over and Check the Scottish Catholic and see what comments are over there.

  73. lol, not paying attention or too aware of the April Fools day, i was all with it until the ‘Modernistorum coetibus. ‘, and the i went,,,,,hey,,, sumthin fantastically bizarre is goin on…

  74. Jakub says:

    Wicked trickster, hook, line and sinker !

  75. Nun2OCDS says:

    A few times since 3-13-2013, the thought of joining SSPX has crossed my mind. Each time I remembered that they are not the true Church. If there is a true Church without the Novus Ordo, only the TLM, please tell me where I can sign up – April first or April 2nd or…

  76. Johnno says:

    A legitimate Ordinariate or group what-have-you to have proper Novus Ordo masses would actually not be a bad idea.

  77. Margaret says:

    Surely I can’t be the only one who found the name Fr. Sven O’Brien hysterically funny. “Sure, they are dupes of modernist Rome, but they have souls. In these drastic new circumstances, we have to provide a refuge.” LOVE IT!!! No sour-puss saints on this blog! :)

  78. Granny says:

    thank heaven that grandson was able to restart my heart!!!!!!!!! Father Z don’t do that to old ladies! WHEW

  79. Margaret says:

    Oh, and a pox upon Christopher for the Rick-roll!

  80. Kathleen10 says:

    I never know what day it is.
    I believed all of it!

  81. The joke of the matter is that the Novus Ordo would be just fine under these circumstances!

  82. stillkickin says:

    Have to admit, you got me for a minute. Was back on my heels after I read it, then started thinking it though and I suddenly said to myself … “Hey wait a minute!” :)

  83. Medjugorje Man 07 says:

    …so that is what the black and red reference is about…..

  84. tradical says:

    I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t understand the “say the black, do the red” either. I misunderstood it to mean something like read the text if the Gospels, but *do* what Jesus says (red text).

  85. If Fr. Z is a liberal then I think I am a heretic :)

  86. Greek Fire says:

    If such an ordinariate did exist, its symbol surely would be a soc-real ressurectifix.

    For those of you wondering about “do the red, say the black,” here is an illustration: http://wmasscatholicvoices.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/english-translation-of-missal.jpg

  87. John Rathowen says:

    What a hoot, Father! Momentarily, you took my breath away and then I breathed again, smiled broadly and then my smile began to fade as I remembered that all too many a true word is spoken in jest. I suggest that nobody much should need much more evidence in support of the accusation that + Fellay has, in his heart, gone a long way toward abandoning Tradition. None should really presume to be able to read the heart of another, save by the evidence and then with fear and trepidation lest we either be misled or that we mislead ourselves. God, alone, knows – the Truth alone recognises itself immediately and without doubt. What we all may – must – say is the truth as we know it and understand it. I see a mountain of evidence, chronologically reaching back far more than years than I care to remember, that more than indicates the true orientations of the present FSSPX leadership. I mean to say that one can trace with forensic consistency the furtive establishment and imposition of a philosophy and a theology that is materially at odds with the Catholic orientations prescribed by the Most Reverend Archbishop Lefebvre, the Founder of the FSSPX. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.

    At this time I can say with absolute certainty that were he alive and in possession of his intellectual faculties Archbishop Lefebvre would publicly denounce + Fellay and his neo-Modernist usurpers. He would disown Bernard Fellay, plainly and clearly denounce him as a traitor and false friend of Tradition, expel him together with Fr Schmidtberger and the rest from the FSSPX and warn the world’s Catholics not to support them financially or morally. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.

    God, alone, knows what these deviants have been up to. God alone knows the number of souls misled by these latter-day Judases and God alone knows what has covertly happened to the money, holdings and real estate properly belonging to the FSSPX. Whatever that may be, it is fair to say that the FSSPX has nothing that either Archbishop Lefebvre or FSSPX benefactors did not give it or that which has been derived from the good will and the prayers of the Faithful. I am speaking here of what is in reality public money, entrusted to the FSSPX by supporters great and often very poor and small. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.

    Very great sins have clearly been committed, both in private and in public. The rank and file of the FSSPX now knows that Bishop Fellay and friends wilfully set out to deceive and to hoodwink both Priests and the FSSPX Faithful. The Roman evidence – incontrovertibly created by Bishop Fellay and his coterie at Menzingen – Bishop Fellay decided should be hidden from us. Now we have it. Now we know. We do not know all and if + Fellay has aught to do with it we never shall but we do know something. The shredders of Menzingen have been kept busy, lately. Documents have been transferred to safe deposit boxes, none of which are named for the FSSPX. Just whose name or names they bear it is possible that without a Judge’s Order we may never know. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.

    Your light-hearted wheeze, Fr Z, was and remains very welcome and I thank you for the moment of levity you shared with us but now is the time for the FSSPX to revert to those who truly are the faithful who supported the late Archbishop. The time, now, is for the cuckoos to quit the nest in which they do not belong. They must go or be forced out. It must all be clear, open and transparent because we have been deceived too long. Enough. Basta. Sufficit

  88. AdMajoremDeiGloriam writes,” I’ve been offering Holy Communion for their reunification” thanks for your example. Yes, reunification. They’re in schism (Fr Z can correct if wrong)and that is a sin against CHARITY. So we need to do as you are doing. That could extend out to Orthodox, Protestants,Jews, non Catholics,atheists and agnostics. They would all be welcome home.

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