BREAKING: SECRET PROTEST CALLED AGAINST FUTURE PAPAL CONCLAVE APP

On the heels of posting this – BREAKING: IOWA CAUCUSES AND PAPAL CONCLAVES! – I just received the following…

February 5, 2020 – (ROME, ITALY)

An unconfirmed source reported on Tuesday, 4 February, that Pope Francis has hired the Iowa Democrat Party to develop an app for use in the next papal conclave to count the votes of the cardinal electors. The progressive pontiff reportedly desires that conclaves should have more transparency.

The app, which was developed by former members of the 2016 Clinton campaign, caused widespread confusion during the recent Iowa caucuses, jeopardizing their future.

Conclaves, held in the Vatican’s Sistine Chapel, are historically closed meetings, literally meaning “lockup up together”.  By church law, electronic devices are not permitted in conclaves.  Many think that conclaves, like political caucuses, are outdated and undemocratic.

An anonymous informant stated that there is being organized a secret, by invitation only, protest at the development of the conclave app.  According that sole source, protesters will stand silently in a line at the entrance to the Vatican Museum, which is the usual public access to the Sistine Chapel.

“It should be moving,” the organizer said.  “This cannot be permitted.  Action is needed.  The integrity of conclaves is sacrosanct.   There mustn’t be leaks.”

An expert on the history of conclaves, Prof. Mario Rossi of Rome’s La Sapienza University, reacted to the news of the conclave app.  “Not good. The risks of disinformation would multiply by orders of magnitude.   Imagine the confusion of  voting miscounts because of a compromised app.  White smoke.  Then black smoke.  Then white again.  Chaos.”

The Vatican’s papal spokesman was questioned about the conclave app and Francis’s determination to bring transparency to conclaves.  At the time of publication no response had yet been received.

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4 Responses to BREAKING: SECRET PROTEST CALLED AGAINST FUTURE PAPAL CONCLAVE APP

  1. monstrance says:

    Mayor Pete’s buddy Fr Jimmy has an early lead

  2. roma247 says:

    “An anonymous informant stated that there is being organized a secret, by invitation only, protest at the development of the conclave app. According that sole source, protesters will stand silently in a line at the entrance to the Vatican Museum, which is the usual public access to the Sistine Chapel.”

    This has unfortunately resulted in a variety of confusing follow up reports in the media. A sampling of the evening headlines:
    “Hundreds of Thousands Unexpectedly Join Protest Against New Conclave App”
    “Visitors to Vatican Museums Assaulted by Group Demanding Secret Invitation”
    “Latest Vatileaks Incident Sparks Indignation From Small Catholic Group”
    “Informant Sought in Protest Scandal”

  3. Ultrarunner says:

    My unconfirmed source indicates Antonio Spadaro will be in charge of writing the source code that sums up the votes in the Papal Conclave app, and that the Democrat Party is outsourcing all other development to Russia and China.

  4. HvonBlumenthal says:

    I am delighted that there will be transparency at the next conclave because it will help reveal evidence of canvassing.