From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-08-22 – A visit to the seminary

August 22nd, 2023

Dear Diary,

Went up to the regional seminary for the start of the new academic year. The rector invited me to celebrate Mass and then stay for lunch and offer some reflections. I drove. I didn’t recall that it was such a long drive to get there. Tommy read his book almost the whole time. The seminary is such a lovely place, it’s worth the trek. Too bad we have only Dustin and Vijay in formation now. They’re doing okay and I think they’re getting along with the men from the other 22 or 23 dioceses that send their seminarians there. Hope they are learning more than Fr. Dave. Still scratching my head over that one.

It’s always been a gorgeous old-style chapel and now they have cushy chairs! And the seminarians can really sing.

Lunch was terrific. They expanded the all-you-can-eat buffet since I was there last time. There’s a new soda machine, too. I overdid it on the Mountain Dew, but it did the trick for washing down the ribs and mashed potatoes, plus ice cream bars for dessert. Looking around, there were a few young guys who were nearly my size so I was in really good company!

The theme of my talk was “Courage!” So important for a man’s time in seminary.

I told the guys, “I want all of you to be courageous! Courage, men!”

Fr. Tommy nearly ruined my talk when he busted into a coughing fit. He turned that unhealthy shade of red and then real pale again. Honestly! Maybe I brought him back too soon? The rector was very gracious and asked me to come back and maybe leave Tommy home next time.

22nd August, 2023 evening

Dear Diary,

This afternoon I found a brochure on the corner of my desk. It had the word “COURAGE” on it. Quite an eye opener. But God love ’em what a great organization for people who, you know, have that thing going on. As great-uncle Pete said, “as long as they don’t frighten the horses!” Words to live by.  Poor Pete.  Ha!  Maybe he read something from a Jesuit!  We talked about that Jesuit guy who’s always in the news – sick of him really – during one of the region bishops get togethers.  Jude was absolutely dead set against him talking anywhere in any of our dioceses.  He was pretty serious about it. Tone of his voice was a little scary so we went along.

Anyway, life is hard enough as it is.  Why stir things up?  The Church’s job is, after all, to make people feel good and be happy.

EDITOR’S NOTE: For some background, HERE