RAPTURE UPDATE: WDPTRS POLL

Just checking with you all.  I am still here, it seems.

Pick your best answer and, if you picked “Yes”, please indicate in the combox the names of the meds you ought to be taking right now but, in fact, are not.

Concerned the predicted Rapture.

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Via Caritate non ficta.

raptured

FacebookEmailPinterestGoogle GmailShare/Bookmark

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
This entry was posted in Lighter fare, POLLS. Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to RAPTURE UPDATE: WDPTRS POLL

  1. cuaguy says:

    There wasn’t an option for me to choose!!!

    I was raptured, and then sent back. Apparently, questioning why the Heavenly Liturgy had not started, which was odd, as it is timeless, of course, is a bad thing. This tipped them off to my Catholicism (which I still am trying to figure out why they didn’t notice it in the first place, considering I wear it on my sleeve) and sent be back to await my obvious eternal damnation…

  2. EoinOBolguidhir says:

    ..of course, this site might be Heaven, so I may have been raptured after all….

  3. I chose “Yes” because I am, in fact, on meds right now: it is called sarcasm.

  4. disco says:

    Father it might have been fun to prank visitors on rapture day by leaving an empty cassock, pair of shoes, and biretta laid out on the driveway as though you’d been carried off. Maybe next time?

  5. lucy says:

    Our traditional Mass group had a lovely picnic Saturday afternoon into the early evening. We figured we might as well be together when the rapture occurred, but, well, it didn’t happen.

  6. APX says:

    Apparently the Rapture did happen on Saturday and we weren’t saved.

    http://judgementday2011.com/
    Jesus has come, few were saved, even less noticed his presence, but May 21st was still Judgement Day. If you are reading this blog, then you were not saved by Jesus in the Second Coming, and have been left behind during the End of Days.

    We shouldn’t laugh. My parish priest said on Sunday he got quite a few calls about the Rapture. That must be a pretty sad sign of how poor many Catholics know their faith.

  7. Philangelus says:

    I opted to stay behind, as all true Christians have done during the previous four attempts at a Rapture: http://wp.me/p8I00-1eL

    On this chart, you will note that in four attempts to execute the Rapture, one thousand archangels have successfully Raptured only two individuals: one a ninety-eight year old comatose nursing home resident in Passaic, New Jersey.

  8. JimmyA says:

    I got stuck in traffic driving to the Usus Antiquior rapture an hour from my home and missed out.

  9. Alan Aversa says:

    There wasn’t an option for me, neither! I was expecting one to say “I wasn’t raptured; I was eaten by the Young Earth Creationists’ 10,000 year old raptors!”

  10. JohnE says:

    I think it was all a big misunderstanding. He said “the rap sure will happen on 5/21″ not “the rapture will happen on 5/21″, as he will explain in his forthcoming book.

  11. JohnE says:

    Now I’m really confused. His website says:
    “The Rapture on May 21 will most likely come and go without saving these three, along with the rest of the False Prophets on this Earth. ”

    So he’s still here, which means he’s a false prophet, which means…..the end of the world WILL happen on 10/21. Not to worry though, I’m sure Jesus will be happy to see us show up to judgement day with the presumptuous “I Survived Judgement Day 2011″ T-shirts on sale for $20.40.

    http://judgementday2011.com/the-apology-for-may-21st-judgement-day-prediction/

  12. benedetta says:

    I say, enough of this, Rapture. What I really would like to discuss is The Rupture…

    And the way forward in faith…

  13. Centristian says:

    I consulted Fortescue to find out whether or not the Paschal Candle should be extinguished in the event of a Rapture during Mass, alas no guidance was offered. So much for his renowned expertise.

  14. benedetta says:

    Intended to have a ceremonious playing of “Leaving on a Jet Plane” for the appointed hour. Will put it on now for those still around…

  15. APX says:

    I did see something coming from the east in a cloud, but it turned out to be a car driving up a gravel road in a cloud of dust.

  16. Cazienza says:

    Yup, I was Raptured. It was funnnnnnnnn! La la laaaaaa

  17. RichR says:

    Still here.

    Sad that so many are led astray by this erroneous, Protestant idea.

  18. Emilio III says:

    I was so puzzled by some friends’ description of the rapture that I ordered A Complete Guide to Understanding the Dispensationalism Controversy. So far I have found it to help my insomnia more than my understanding, but will keep trying when there’s nothing better to do…

  19. JuliB says:

    A woman in my diocesan Scripture School knows a woman who quit her job as an RN and was pleading with her family to repent. In turn, they wanted nothing to do with her, but were certainly concerned with her mental status come Sunday.

    I’m not sure how it turned out for her… I hope she can get her job back. While many of us laugh and joke about it, some people lost a lot due to their desire to know God’s plan. So I am more than a bit angry at Harold Camping, regardless of his good intentions.

  20. anilwang says:

    # No, I’m still here. (33%, 159 Votes)
    I answered “No, I wasn’t caught up in the Raptor”. The T-Rex got to him first….but that’s another story.

  21. benedetta says:

    Actually the Rapture came and went and nothing changed, initially. But, it seems there was some sort of mixup and they had to turn the whole operation around and backtrack to come and pick me up…you can imagine how happy some people were about that idea…anyway, all’s well and I am no longer here…now commenting from the wild blue yonder…one of the 143 at this posting. Internet access is somewhat sketch so I don’t know when I’ll be able to comment here again…I hope to provide some illumination every once in a while…

  22. SPWang says:

    Due to the lack of experienced trumpeters, the end of the world has been postponed.

  23. K. Marie says:

    I was in my basement because of a tornado during the “Rapture”. The tornado was what tipped me off to it not happening, because here in Kansas that sort of weather is way to normal for the day of the Apocalypse.

  24. benedictgal says:

    Saturday was my parochial vicar’s birthday so I went to Mass for him. He told us that he wondered why he had an unusually high amount of penitents. He said that people heading into the confessionals was about the only good thing that came out of this whole mess.

  25. wanda says:

    Eeeeek! Fr. Z.! Whatever shall we do now? Who will tell us what the prayers really say? Alas and alack!

  26. Thomas in MD says:

    I guess we Catholics actually are consorting with the Whore of Babylon.

  27. Agnes says:

    @Thomas, I hear she’s a really nice lady once you get to know her.

    I’m not here. See ya, folks.

  28. Maltese says:

    Like the first poster, I was actually raptured, but then sent back because like some with a NDE (near death experience) my work wasn’t quite done, so the Lord said. But I asked Him, “isn’t the Rapture supposed to more universal?” “Nope,” He said unto me, “just a few of you napes were included; besides, it was a trial-run.” I felt simultaneously exalted and humiliated. But, that’s OK, I did get to see the Ninth Heaven on my short-lived Rapture journey!

  29. When my Missouri Synod Lutheran sister-in-law responded to my text at 6:01 p.m., I knew God must have called the whole thing off.

  30. MargaretC says:

    Unfortunately, I was busy praying to statues and following the precepts of men at the time, so I missed it. :)

  31. Stories of empty clothes have been coming in from all over the world. It looks like the rapture really did happen. One of the crown princes of Saudi Arabia was apparently raptured while “spending time” with one of the women from his harem. Now the people are in an uproar that one of the crown princes could have been a secret “bible believing” Bible believer all this time.

    The bones have disappeared from several Donatist crypts in northern Africa. I guess they were raptured but no one can confirm this.

    Teenage girl who was pregnant last week and used to read the bible to her unborn baby was found on Sunday to not be pregnant anymore. When questioned as to if she had gotten an abortion she answered negative. Her baby had been raptured. Five hundred dollars was also apparently raptured from the girl’s parents’ bank account as well.

    The strangest story has to be the fact that Obama was raptured leaving latae Sentensiae excommunicated Catholic Joe Biden as acting president of the United States (God help us all). Obama left behind a wife and two unaborted children. He was met on his way to bible heaven by his seven other children but Obama declared that one of them was obviously not his and must have been some black guy’s child.

    The sheriff’s office in Dulbia in North Carahamture have been inundated with missing person’s reports. The rapture was apparently a time when many people sought to fake being raptured in order to get out of the responsibilities of life. One resident of Dulbia with a mountain of debt and no real job prospects call one of his creditors to inform him that he was raptured and so would be unable to pay off his loan.

    Another resident of Dulbia had a narrow escape on Saturday when the collections agent coming to repossess his car was suddenly raptured and the empty clothes with blood stains and bullet holes were presented to the local sheriff as proof.

    The king of Thailand was going to be raptured but he quickly renounced his belief in the bible when he discovered that he could not bring his $26 billion with him to heaven.

    A small building in Japan was found to be completely empty but full of clothes Sunday morning. The people of the congregation used to worship a king james version of the bible, not knowing in fact what it was. Since they couldn’t understand English they had no way to know that the bible was not supposed to be an idol. Good thing too, since now they have been raptured by the bible and are now in bible heaven where they are now free to worship the bible to the end of time.

    Meanwhile a lot of Christians are sitting around wondering why they weren’t raptured. I guess they had the wrong faith and must now go for the rest of their lives (which I guess will be limited to seven years) knowing that whatever their church used to preach is wrong. For these people there are only three options. One: deny the rapture happened and continue to believe whatever pastor billy bob can come up with this week. Two: Stop believing all together and have a good time before the tribulations start to really affect their life. Three: Become Catholic and replace faith in the Bible with faith in Christ. Then they might have another chance to go to a real heaven and escape the hell on earth that is coming.

    :)obviously this post was a joke(:

  32. wanda says:

    Thomas D in MD, That’s us isn’t it? Just askin’.

  33. APX says:

    @benedictgal
    He told us that he wondered why he had an unusually high amount of penitents. He said that people heading into the confessionals was about the only good thing that came out of this whole mess.

    Come to mention it, as was driving past the downtown cathedral Saturday around when confessions were, the parking lot was pretty full…I didn’t anything of it.

  34. pseudomodo says:

    Oh!?…RAPTURE?

    I thought you said RUPTURE!

    Yes we are still in that now and NOT enjoying the tribulations…

  35. DanW says:

    Is this Heaven? No it’s Iowa!

  36. Alice says:

    SPWang,
    Best.comment.EVAR.

  37. power4350 says:

    Rapture?? I thought you said rupture, I’ve just done the seam in my trousers again….

  38. Widukind says:

    Some years ago, while speaking to a group of junior high school students, the conversation turn to the end of the world and what other Christians believe. I asked if any of them had heard any of their non-Catholic classmates talk about the “rapture”. One bright girl straightout said, “Oh, you mean the RUPTURE!”

  39. irishgirl says:

    I’m still here-I spent Saturday at a pet expo. Saw lots of dogs and cats. Petted a lot of dogs, who smelled and rubbed up against my skirt so much that I took it to the laundry yesterday.
    I have to quietly laugh at the people who were so taken in by this ‘rapture’ business. I hope that those who quit their jobs will be able to get them back.
    I believe in what Our Lord says: ‘Only the Father knows’ when the Day of Judgment will be! Not in Harold Canning!
    ‘Rapture’ vs. ‘Rupture’-hey, I like that! [I read the play on words a long time ago in MAD Magazine: 'I have rapture of the deep...I have rupture of the groin!']
    I also like the gentle prank of Philip Gerard Johnson!

  40. Patti Day says:

    This is the first time I’ve written LOL in an email and actually meant it.