I received this note:
(WDTPRSNEWS.COM – Ecône, Switzerland) In a surprise move, the followers of the late Archbishop Marcel Lefevbre in the Society of St. Pius X, have issued a document creating within their ranks an “ordinariate” for Catholics who wish to celebrate the Novus Ordo according to the official rubrics.
According to the press release, the SSPX saw the need to provide a refuge for priests and lay faithful alike to preserve the few vestiges of Catholic identity they retained in the midst of their modernist errors.
Fr. Sven O’Brien, sub-vice assistant director of the eastern division of the Society’s German province, said in a phone interview, “Sure, they are dupes of modernist Rome, but they have souls. In these drastic new circumstances, we have to provide a refuge.”
The SSPX’s move was sparked by the recent decision of Pope Francis to wash the feet of women during a Holy Thursday liturgy, in clear violation of the duly issued rubrics in the modernist-influenced Novus Ordo Missale Romanum.
Some rank-and-file Catholics who attend Novus Ordo Masses still want to have Mass without the controversies caused by abandoning the law.
“We are the defenders of Eternal Rome,” Fr. O’Brien continued. “Their ship is sinking. We have to throw them a life-preserver.”
The 32-page SSPX document, entitled “Modernistarum coetibus”, establishes a sub-group within the Society that permits the members to celebrate the Novus Ordo of Pope Paul VI in Latin according to the rubrics and texts as they are printed in the official books.
“Like him or not,” said Fr. Eldon Friel of the SSPX chapel in Tall Tree Circle, “that Father Z, even though he’s a liberal, got it right. Say the black and do the red. Say the texts as they are written and follow the rubrics as they are printed. That’s a step in the right direction, a step towards eternal Rome.”
The new SSPX sub-group called the Ordinariate of Mary, Queen of Tradition, was established immediately by the issuing of the new document.
When asked about reception of the new provisions, Fr. O’Brien said, “Hey, it’s early, but we’ve had to assign more seminarians to answer the phones. They’re ringing off the hook!”
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April Fool’s Day!
Well, hot dog! If this isn’t the best way to start off an April… I don’t know what is!
Very good, Fr. Z! Thanks for the chuckle.
What a stunt
May you receive what you deserve for such mischief
the description of yourself as a liberal gives you away
Only the (true) Pope can create an ordinariate
Let us hope the existing ones remain unscathed
May you incur the wrath of the departed Archbishop Le Febvre
or even more immediate on this mortal coil………
+ Williamson
let us pray for the SSPX, they have been proven prudent in one sense
to “wait and see” since all bets appear off right now concerning Tradition.
You have revealed a rather impish facet of yourself today, quite the trickster
And do you know, I had already filled out my application, folded a cheque into it, and was about to drop the envelope into the mail, when suddenly I realized that you were kidding! Dang-itttttttt! If only it were true. But well done!
Hehe, Fr Z, thanks to you I got today’s date right at once.
I like the reference to you as a liberal…you never know, I guess a minute minority of SSPX’ers might view you as ‘caving in to modernism’ :-P , but ‘a liberal’, that’s a stretch too far even in their minds, I bet…
Let’s continue to pray that Pope Francis abides by Jesus’ Liturgical Will and continues the reform of the reform in the liturgy.
I’m waiting for the Holy Father to appear in a humble Jesuit cassock or a white business suit.
Before I remembered the day, I paused at the title….
I honestly can’t imagine the SSPX making any kind of decision at all, stunning or otherwise.
(True they have and do, sort of, but they’re all “hem and haw” nowadays)
Now if you had done this with Rome actually issuing them full canonical recognition it would have been the best April Fool’s Joke ever. Still this was a good one!
Father Z had me…until the reference to Tall Tree Circle. Then the alarm bells went off.
That one ranks right up there with his famous St. Ipsy Dipsy. LOL
Yes, “That Fr. Z” indeed! :-)
Jack in KC
Just for that, good Father, the SSPX are going to publish an article about you joining the Women’s Ordination Conference! hahahaha
That is very generous of the SSPX, but I think they should add a rider that the Novus Ordo Refugees do NOT bring their musical traditions with them.
Well thought up Father!
Your letting your wish fulfillment show. tut….tut
Clearly, the SSPX need to to something to survive.
Sadly, the present Bishop of Rome does not seem the slightest bit interested in the SSPX.
If they had a Chapel near me, I would go.
I almost bought it. I’m impaired by severe sleep deprivation.
This is great news Father.
We will be well rid of these pretend catholics when they leave to join this new ordinariate.
I mean to found a society for the restoration of the Clapping Gloria as a response. I trust that I can rely on your support as we build greater Active Participation through hand-actions.
Ha ha ha!!!
This was the best April Fool I read today!
April, April…
That was a good one.
Tricksy hobitses!!
You gotta love April 1st. Here is our stab at a joke. Probably playing to a different audience!! http://www.catholicyouthwork.com/index.php?topic=1250
Good grief!
I fell for it.
Now I’ve got to re-email my contacts.
Red-faced in the Southwest but it’s 4 AM .
Is that a good excuse???
In other giant breakthroughs:
http://www.google.com/landing/nose/
Oooooh Fadder,
Tell us, did Msgr. Marini put you up to this? I bet he is getting a good laugh!
I do believe that this is going to disrupt the VORTEX once again…
I was completely clueless about today’s date until I checked in here. Thanks for the reminder!
And yes, you got me!
Wow Fr Z, how late did you stay up thinking of this one? Thanks for the laugh!
You and Cranmer really got folks going this morning – two of the best April fools jokes going :)
“WDTPRSNEWS.COM – Ecône, Switzerland”
: ) !
This just in…
April Fools day has an interesting history. No one really knows where it came from and Wikipedia is not very helpful in tracing when it stabilized as a joke-playing day. Since April 1st is the octave of the Feast of the Assumption, some have speculated that this is a day for joviality, although I don’t see the connection. There is an improbable theory that, before the Gregorian Calendar reform, seven days after the Feast of the Annunciation was the new year (much as seven days after Christmas is the new year) and, when the calendar changed, some people didn’t get the memo and celebrated the new year at the wrong time. They were fooled by April 1st. This explanation is probably wrong, because the appearance of April 1st as a joke-playing day did not spread uniformly across Europe, as the calendar reform did.
Wikipedia does not mention that this is the first week after the Easter full moon and, since this occurs during the octave of Easter, it is a time of merriment. Some have thought that the influence of the moon was particularly strong, robbing men of thir senses (thus, the April Fool). There are other, spurious injections to ancient Rome and a fabricated April Fools explanation involving Constantine.
My best guess is that it is the first day of the first month after the first full moon of spring. Certainly, a time to make merry.
We take you back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress.
The Chicken
“There are other, spurious connections to ancient Rome and a fabricated April Fools explanation involving Constantine.”
LOL
Bravo! You totally had me all the way up to Modernistorum coetibus. Bravo!
“Like him or not, that Fr. Z…” Boy, that insert gave it away as fabricated for sure. For we all love our Fr. Z,,!
you absolutely got me Father…after a stressful, tiring, emotional, exhilirating and sad Easter weekend (due to the death of a fmaily acquaintance on Easter Sunday of all days)…I started asking God for prayers for our Church and then remembered the calendar day…thank you for the laugh good Father
Oh deary me… The Scottish Catholic Observer thought this was true and just posted a link on Facebook about this….
Father??!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!!
lol
HaHa, this is a masterpiece Fr!
The original Latin text of the document is available on the internet: it is written in elegant Latin, as one can discern from the opening paragraph which reads:
Modernistorum coetibus, quia nescimus quid hercle veneni in eventibus recentioribus latet, penitus concussus est jam animus ita ut efflagitarent se, tum singuli tum glomeratim, in Societatis Nostrae communionem se recipi, quippe quam expostulationem Societas Nostra sane censuerit esse admittendam ne amplius pauperculis rerum novarum studiosis panem petientibus lapides porrigerentur.
Heh heh! A very obvious joke, but a funny one! The poor SSPX-people WILL be busy answering the phone and posting denials on their site, heh heh, ;-)
Had me hook line and sinker for about an hour. My poor wife thought I’d finally lost it. Obviously I’m too trusting, or should that be gullible?
I bought it until…’that Fr. Z., even though he is a Liberal’. Must have more than half a cup of coffee when checking in at Fr. Z.s place!
If you build it, they will come…?
The Chicken
I fell for it – hook, line, and sinker! I was already praying for their immortal souls. I’m very gullible at times.
Good one!
Silly Wabbit
*snicker*
Well done Father Z
Good April Fools prank Father!
In other news:
The National Catholic Reporter repented of their nonsense http://ncronline.org/animportantmessagetosubscribers.html
God Bless.
You got me Father. Here I was, thinking I was on the alert for April Fools’ jokes with a pre-teen in the house, but you showed me exactly how far off I was on that. Very, very good.
My sense of humor died on March 13th.
Poor me.
What a screeeeeeam. Some of these comments are pretty good, too.
Thanks, Father Z.
The penny dropped and I started LOL on “Sven O’Brien”.
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I thought the WDTPRSNEWS.COM at the beginning was the giveaway. Nice one.
You neglected to mention, Father, how this new Ordinariate will be using the venerable Fish symbol of Christians both Ancient and Modern …
Masked Chicken (the Banded Bantam ?)
Thank you for your background information on April Fool’s Day.
I have also found that in German folklore, 1 April, is the birthday
of Judas Iscariot. I guess they would consider him the real April
“fool” or “Geck”. Incidently, this folklore holds 1 August as the
day Lucifer was thrust out of heaven and into hell, and 1 December
commemorated the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah. These three
days were considered “un-days” or ‘non-days” when nothing could
ever be begun or completed. It was best just to wait idly indoors until
the day passed.
Well Done Father! I posted an April Fools joke on my blog about Pope Francis deciding to Ordain Women and the SSPX/FSSP joining forces to stave off the exodus from the Church. It went so marvelously I woke up to some hate mail, I lost 550 twitter followers, and my Priest told me (jokingly) that the Vatican was calling to see what fool started the ordination rumor.
I love April Fools!
Brilliant Father! you had me for the first few paragraphs, but then I remembered the date. Great follow-up posts, especially from Andrew!
PatriciusOenus:
Ignoscas oculorum aciem senectute hebescentem atque o ab a non discernentem. Alpha ab omega tamen hucusque distinguo.
Soon this joke {surreal} may be on all those with any attachment to the Holy Traditions of the Church. Verily many might find themselves looking for this very thing.
Jesus Mercy
” ………………… idle hands.”1
That’s funny. The SSPX just posted their April Fool’s Joke: “In a stunning announcement Fr. Zuhlsdorf admits that Pope Francis is a disaster and will begin the process of joining the SSPX.”
This just in:
“The Leadership Conference of Women Religious hails this move by the SSPX as an important step to dialogue, mutual sharing, and collegiality. What a selfless act of being church! The president of LCWR looks forward to the day when she and Bishop Fellay came join hands and hearts and together proclaim in song, ‘All are welcome, all are welcome, all are welcome in this place!'”
April fools
However , the mind wonders, enough Happy Clappy stuff could make one consider, just to get away from the garbage
still good one Fr
Be wary of the net today-you never know when the April Fool will strike next!
My favorite was back in 2009 on April Fool’s:
http://stlouiscatholic.blogspot.com/2009/04/breaking-news-sspx-bishop-fellay-named.html
I must confess (as in “Go to Confession”) that I had to read the first sentence twice before I checked the date (3/31/13) and realized it was all TRUE!
I must confess even further that I, as a patronizer of the Novus (I never see anyone smile when they use this term) Ordo form of the Roman Rite, was starting to feel so marginalized by the so called “Latinistas,” that I started to contemplate the possibility of offering my back yard as the venue for HolyFeetWeek’14. I thought it would be such a fabulous opportunity for the Great Unwashed (and I include “myself” in there) who live on my block to become the Great Washed via Pope Francis’ kind and inclusive ablutions.
But this announcement from SSPX is EVEN BETTER!!! AND WHO BETTER THAN SSPX to make this brilliant move?!?
They, more than anyone else, understand what it’s like to have tradition pulled out from under one’s feet (washed, if you’re a male…), and that whether a tradition is a few hundred years old or only fifty years young in comparison, tradition is new to every generation when they first hear of it. Don’t tread on me AND DON’T TAKE AWAY MY VERNACULAR!
In closing, here is one of the songs that I hope will migrate under the Great Novus (is that you holding your nose?) Ordo Diaspora:
Lord, I have only one boat
To take me across the great river
To my daily labor,
Where I earn a miniscule pittance,
(With which I feed myself and my cat)
While enduring humiliations from my boss.
Oh Lord, I have only one boat,
Only one job,
Only one cat.
My boat I have left in the sand there
Just for you
Right next to the cat.
Fr. Z , you had me fooled! Very good!!!!!
Yep. You got me. Maybe I’m just lacking a sense of humor, but I refuse to laugh at myself or put myself down over this one. This wasn’t nice. I don’t care if it’s April Fool’s Day. This just wasn’t nice because of all that’s gone on and how I got my hopes raised again for nothing.
[Have a lovely day!]
I was tipped off by the language that the SSPX spoke with. Too casual.
But these days there is no April fools joke about a Catholic subject that is too far fetched.
While the Joke was good. It made me sad. It made me mad. That with all that is going on in the Church stuff like this is actually believable. Actually it is more believable than these headlines would have been a month ago.
Pope resigns
Jesuits control Papacy
Pope does not want to be called Pope
Pope washes women’s feet.
Pope abandons liturgical matters.
Liberal claim Pope as their own
Poisson d’Avril! Parfait, mon pere!
Dear Masked Chicken – Some say that April Fool’s originated in France, since Poisson d’Avril [April Fish got reeled right in…] dates back a ways. ~Tina from the Ashburn Pond
I heard that the SSPX saw that the ‘nuns on the bus’ methods were so effectively winning, that they are looking for old female SSPXers to don stretch pants and blue hair dye, and travel the country. And who knew that ukeleles [a good size for a crowded bus] are the perfect accompaniment to more upbeat and jazzy syncopated Gregorian Chant?
“Like him or not,” said Fr. Eldon Friel of the SSPX chapel in Tall Tree Circle, “that Father Z, even though he’s a liberal, got it right. Say the black and do the red. Say the texts as they are written and follow the rubrics as they are printed. That’s a step in the right direction, a step towards eternal Rome.”
This is good… “that Father Z, even though he’s a liberal”… HA HA HA! I was actually kind of duped until I read this and recalled that it was April 1st. Good one Father!
Fr. Z, can’t you make a mug with a picture of St Mary with the text “Mary Queen of Tradition”? It has a really good ring to it, but the new title may need a papal recognition… If not, I’ll by two mugs instantly!
I’m starting to believe that the possibilities are endless in this church… and so are the characters…heh heh :)
Very funny, Father! I am reminded again and again how dear Pope Benedict spoiled us:
almost every move by Francis now appears nearing a headline from the Onion!
– Pope Washes Muslim’s Girl Feet, Says “Humble” For 254th Time.
– New Pope Never Says “Pope”
– New Pope Says “Shorten the Black, Do the Opposite of the Red”
Anyway, when all of that is over, history will mark him as “Jorge Maria Cardinal Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires, a claimant to Papacy under the name ‘Francis, Bishop of Rome’ in the last years of Pope Benedict XVI’s reign. Last seen in 2013 in one of the corridors of Domus Sanctae Marthae in Rome, being ‘humble,’ and scared of ‘trappings.’ Present whereabouts unknown.”
Fr. Z, you forgot the companion press announcement from the Superior of SSPV:
“As the authentic standard bearers of the true Catholic Religion, we invite all disaffected SSPX members (who have now realized just how soft SSPX really is) to join us in promoting and professing the true Catholic Faith. Consequently, we are temporarily suspending the one-time registration fee to join SSPV. We have suspected for years that the liberal, apostate SSPX was being slowly infiltated by Freemasons and the vile minions of Bugnini and it seems they have succeeded. We have also warned SSPX repeatedly about being too cozy and chummy with the papal pretenders of Rome and in tolerating dialogue with the new modernist, Conciliar religion. Told you so!”
I got way too excited after reading the title on my RSS reader. After the day I woke up to your post on the Pope’s resignation, I figured anything was possible. Good one.
Seriously though, does anyone know of any active prayer initiatives for the SSPX? I’ve been offering Holy Communion for their reunification (might not be the proper term; regularization?) for about a year, but I think this is one petition in which I hope we can all imitate the persistent widow. It’s too easy for both sides to accept the present situation.
@Wanda, Yes, but be sure not to have a mouthful of said coffee when reading Fr Z on April Fool’s day, or there could be unfortunate consequences! ;) I am still chickling! Father, you had me right up until the quote about Fr. Z–then I looked up at the opening of the article and saw WDTPRSNEWS.COM and realized I had been tricked! This is great. Goodness, have to bop over and Check the Scottish Catholic and see what comments are over there.
lol, not paying attention or too aware of the April Fools day, i was all with it until the ‘Modernistorum coetibus. ‘, and the i went,,,,,hey,,, sumthin fantastically bizarre is goin on…
Wicked trickster, hook, line and sinker !
A few times since 3-13-2013, the thought of joining SSPX has crossed my mind. Each time I remembered that they are not the true Church. If there is a true Church without the Novus Ordo, only the TLM, please tell me where I can sign up – April first or April 2nd or…
A legitimate Ordinariate or group what-have-you to have proper Novus Ordo masses would actually not be a bad idea.
Surely I can’t be the only one who found the name Fr. Sven O’Brien hysterically funny. “Sure, they are dupes of modernist Rome, but they have souls. In these drastic new circumstances, we have to provide a refuge.” LOVE IT!!! No sour-puss saints on this blog! :)
thank heaven that grandson was able to restart my heart!!!!!!!!! Father Z don’t do that to old ladies! WHEW
Oh, and a pox upon Christopher for the Rick-roll!
I never know what day it is.
I believed all of it!
The joke of the matter is that the Novus Ordo would be just fine under these circumstances!
Have to admit, you got me for a minute. Was back on my heels after I read it, then started thinking it though and I suddenly said to myself … “Hey wait a minute!” :)
…so that is what the black and red reference is about…..
I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t understand the “say the black, do the red” either. I misunderstood it to mean something like read the text if the Gospels, but *do* what Jesus says (red text).
If Fr. Z is a liberal then I think I am a heretic :)
If such an ordinariate did exist, its symbol surely would be a soc-real ressurectifix.
For those of you wondering about “do the red, say the black,” here is an illustration: http://wmasscatholicvoices.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/english-translation-of-missal.jpg
What a hoot, Father! Momentarily, you took my breath away and then I breathed again, smiled broadly and then my smile began to fade as I remembered that all too many a true word is spoken in jest. I suggest that nobody much should need much more evidence in support of the accusation that + Fellay has, in his heart, gone a long way toward abandoning Tradition. None should really presume to be able to read the heart of another, save by the evidence and then with fear and trepidation lest we either be misled or that we mislead ourselves. God, alone, knows – the Truth alone recognises itself immediately and without doubt. What we all may – must – say is the truth as we know it and understand it. I see a mountain of evidence, chronologically reaching back far more than years than I care to remember, that more than indicates the true orientations of the present FSSPX leadership. I mean to say that one can trace with forensic consistency the furtive establishment and imposition of a philosophy and a theology that is materially at odds with the Catholic orientations prescribed by the Most Reverend Archbishop Lefebvre, the Founder of the FSSPX. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.
At this time I can say with absolute certainty that were he alive and in possession of his intellectual faculties Archbishop Lefebvre would publicly denounce + Fellay and his neo-Modernist usurpers. He would disown Bernard Fellay, plainly and clearly denounce him as a traitor and false friend of Tradition, expel him together with Fr Schmidtberger and the rest from the FSSPX and warn the world’s Catholics not to support them financially or morally. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.
God, alone, knows what these deviants have been up to. God alone knows the number of souls misled by these latter-day Judases and God alone knows what has covertly happened to the money, holdings and real estate properly belonging to the FSSPX. Whatever that may be, it is fair to say that the FSSPX has nothing that either Archbishop Lefebvre or FSSPX benefactors did not give it or that which has been derived from the good will and the prayers of the Faithful. I am speaking here of what is in reality public money, entrusted to the FSSPX by supporters great and often very poor and small. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.
Very great sins have clearly been committed, both in private and in public. The rank and file of the FSSPX now knows that Bishop Fellay and friends wilfully set out to deceive and to hoodwink both Priests and the FSSPX Faithful. The Roman evidence – incontrovertibly created by Bishop Fellay and his coterie at Menzingen – Bishop Fellay decided should be hidden from us. Now we have it. Now we know. We do not know all and if + Fellay has aught to do with it we never shall but we do know something. The shredders of Menzingen have been kept busy, lately. Documents have been transferred to safe deposit boxes, none of which are named for the FSSPX. Just whose name or names they bear it is possible that without a Judge’s Order we may never know. Bishop Fellay owes us explanations. They all do.
Your light-hearted wheeze, Fr Z, was and remains very welcome and I thank you for the moment of levity you shared with us but now is the time for the FSSPX to revert to those who truly are the faithful who supported the late Archbishop. The time, now, is for the cuckoos to quit the nest in which they do not belong. They must go or be forced out. It must all be clear, open and transparent because we have been deceived too long. Enough. Basta. Sufficit
AdMajoremDeiGloriam writes,” I’ve been offering Holy Communion for their reunification” thanks for your example. Yes, reunification. They’re in schism (Fr Z can correct if wrong)and that is a sin against CHARITY. So we need to do as you are doing. That could extend out to Orthodox, Protestants,Jews, non Catholics,atheists and agnostics. They would all be welcome home.
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